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Medical laboratory scientist, visual artist, business owner. @ Lagos
Lagos, Nigeria
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Just a girl
<p>I didn't want to be like other girls.</p><p><br/></p><p>I wanted to be the special girl. The one you had been searching for. So I started being out of the ordinary, slowly just wanting to look remarkable to you.</p><p><br/></p><p>Only that I was losing myself.</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't want to be like other girls,</p><p><br/></p><p>Who saw your cute eyes and drew from their first conversation the realisation that your eyes were something beautiful, and so was your intelligence and impeccable aura.</p><p><br/></p><p>I wanted to feign indifference, to keep from falling so fast. But the more I tried, the more obvious it became that your charm had worked.</p><p><br/></p><p>I was so drawn in.</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't want to be like other girls.</p><p><br/></p><p>I know you tell me about how they loved you, and something in me wanted to outlove them. To prove I could get you, even though you had never chosen anyone.</p><p><br/></p><p>And that remark you made about “tiring her out” made me decide I was going to be the one who wouldn't get tired of your highs and lows. It strengthened my resolve to get the “prize.”</p><p><br/></p><p>I've never thought I would be like other girls.</p><p><br/></p><p>Your charm is all-captivating, and how quickly it is to get intertwined. Indeed, just a few poorly planned outings and conversations.</p><p><br/></p><p>A shame, really, how your perfume outlasts the intimate moment, and just a few minutes later, we are back to ground zero.</p><p><br/></p><p>The fear of being like other girls.</p><p><br/></p><p>To walk away like they did when they saw that chemistry is just one thing; the man underneath is the one you are going to deal with.</p><p><br/></p><p>To walk away is to face the rejection and the fear that you are actually like other girls.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe I am like other girls, and recognising this should have saved me the heartbreak they all went through.</p><p><br/></p><p>Auditioning for the role of the special one before the judges: an array of the same kind of men, just scattered around different spheres of life.</p><p><br/></p><p>Avoidant. Selfish. Narcissistic men who will pick themselves every day.</p><p><br/></p><p>I am like every other girl.</p><p><br/></p><p>I loved. I gave. I cared. And I am learning to walk away when it starts to hurt.</p><p><br/></p><p>Here I am, redefining my worth and tending to my specialness outside the eyes of the panel.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because, it is not a special thing to be chosen by a man. Your existence itself is special. Anyone you have to audition for is already the wrong one.</p><p><br/></p><p>So here I am, healing just like every other girl.</p>
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