I have this friend of mine who says she likes love letters ….now this isn’t a handwritten letter but i typed it with my hands (lol) and i hope it makes her smile.

I won’t say her name but considering how smart she is i’d say she’ll know this is about her 

It’s barely been a year since knowing you but i randomly catch my mind wandering…thinking about you …the things we’ve done together …the memories i know i’d carry with me even after my death but a part of me still doubts.

Not doubting what i feel but doubting why i feel this way ….i know we love the people around us mostly because of the memories we share with them …but no …memories or not …thinking back at the way you talk or write ….they way you tease people …your hot takes on feminism (ps. I considered them hot takes even though i act like i don’t agree with you just to keep the conversation going)

I guess in essence what i’m saying is ….i don’t just like you but instead i like the person i become when I’m around you ….i like the person i become when i think about you ….i like the person i become when i talk to you but again its not just about me.

Friendships are crazy ….not wanting to make things complicated because you’d rather not lose what you have with that person in a pursuit to take things further.

Now i might be wrong ….this may not be love …it may be just a mere crush or maybe due to the lack of friends in my life it’s only normal i catch myself falling for the one friend who constantly shows that she loves me…..now i may not show it for a whole lotta reasons but i know you may have suspected….i know you might have had even if its just an ounce of suspicion as to how i really feel about you..

I’m totally comfortable with our friendship..:.hell ..i’m more than happy ….but i’m only human to ask myself …what if?

Now i may never find out why you feel or if you feel …..but i don’t care …i don’t love you cause i expect you to love me back ….i don’t call you because i expect you to pick….i don’t tease you because i hope it makes you fall for me ….i do it because these are just a few of the things i’d effortlessly want to keep on doing for you ….reciprocated or not ……i can show how much i love you without expecting you to feel the same …..maybe in this life …maybe in the next …. But certainly in my imagination….hell i’d make a movie and make you my partner if i have to (lol).

All i’m saying is you make me a better person without even knowing ….so what happens when you do?

We’d still spend much more time together when next we meet i promise you that and i promise we’d definitely go to the arcade like i promised

So please…even when you decode this message…don’t stop texting …don’t stop telling me about your day ,about the things you love, about the books you read or the kinda guy you’d like cause honestly….it makes me blush just hearing you acknowledge my presence by talking to me.