STAY WITH ME - by Oluwadamilola Adesina

Seems like life is not really meant for us to enjoy good things for long.Now before you come for me, this is not pessimism. As I grow older, I find myself juggling between my belief that everything should be purposeful and last long, and the thought that maybe we’re just meant to live in the moment. A few days ago, I was craving Cold Stone. I finally got one that cost more than my daily wages. It melted in my mouth in minutes, was I happy? Yes. But all that sweetness didn’t last up to 30 minutes. On special days, I’ll spend hours cooking my special fried rice, only to eat it up in a few minutes. My secondary school teachers wouldn’t cease to tell us girls that we shouldn’t allow five minutes’ enjoyment to spoil our lives. I’ve never stopped imagining that sexual intimacy only lasts for five minutes. So it seems as though the memories are what keep us the moment itself doesn’t last long. I’m the one you call a planner, or maybe a daydreamer. I quickly imagine my future with people around me, purposefully planning how we will end up. I’m a good writer of such happily-ever-afters. With this, disappointments always come crashing like dominoes, and yet again, I never learn my lessons. Once, I thought this person would be my friend for life because we shared an apartment and the relationship was good. Then quickly, we turned into strangers in the same house. I wasn’t over the disappointment when I picked a forever friend in another. A few weeks or maybe months of good times, and I was quick to conclude this was an eternal friendship. I don’t know if it’s the disappointment or a new wave of realization, but I wish I had enjoyed the moments more and not wished for a future. That I had laughed more and not saved some things till future dates. Most importantly, that I had not held on too tight and just lived a day at a time. I’m beginning to consider that maybe life was really meant to be lived in the moment, yet still finding the bridge, a chance, an omen that this would last. And even if it doesn’t, I’ll reminisce on the good times, knowing that was all I had, even though I prayed for more.

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