The Choice That Affects More Than You

Getting married to the wrong partner is one of the greatest mistakes a person can make in life, and sometimes it is a mistake that cannot simply be erased. Though some people have the grace of a second chance in life, it is very few. When you get married to the wrong partner, you may later get divorced, but your life may not remain the same. I've seen so many single mothers who didn't get the opportunity to be with another man again. Some end up remaining single mothers, while some are lucky enough to find love again. Some even end up returning to their former husbands. But beyond the husband and wife, the children are also affected. Even when a mother or father leaves the children behind, the children may carry the emotional consequences for years. I have a friend who lives with his dad and stepmother. When we were in high school, he looked so malnourished that you would think he was a sickle cell patient. He couldn't even afford to pay his school fees, and the school administration had to show him mercy before he could write WAEC. I used to think his parents were simply poor until I got to know him better and realized what his situation was. His father is actually doing well financially, but his mother left him and his elder brother when he was just two years old, and his father later married another woman. His stepmother has several children of her own, and they are doing fine. Till today, my friend's situation is still not good. He is hardly happy, he struggles emotionally, gets sick often, and he once told me that he hates his mother. Sometimes I wonder how different his life could have been if he had grown up with both parents. Getting married to a wrong partner may make you end up using “It is well” to comfort yourself—not only you, but your children too. Marriage is not just about choosing someone you love. You are choosing the person who will influence your peace, your home, your children and, to a large extent, the kind of environment they grow up in. So before you say “yes,” look beyond the butterflies. Pay attention to character, values, emotional maturity, responsibility, faith and how that person treats others. Because choosing a life partner is not just about who you want to spend your life with. It is also about who you are willing to build a family with It doesn't only determine who you will live with. It determines the kind of environment your children will grow up in. Choose wisely. Pray. Observe. Don't ignore red flags because you are in love.

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