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44
Student @ Nnamdi Azikiwe University,Awka.
THE COMMITTEE IN MY HEAD.
<p><br/></p><p>The meeting starts before I open my eyes.</p><p><br/></p><p>It always does.</p><p><br/></p><p>The Caretaker is already planning the day. Eat something decent. Wear the navy shirt. Be competent. Be pleasant. Survive the 9 AM class and take the oatmeal in the cabinet.</p><p>The Critic is already circling flaws. You’re behind. You’re soft. You should be better than this by now.</p><p>The Manager is translating the panic into logistics. Shower. Dress. Move. Don’t think. Just execute.</p><p>The Saboteur leans against the wall, amused and says o<span style="background-color: transparent;">r don’t. Stay in bed. Let them finally see you fail. Wouldn’t that be easier than performing again?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br/></span></p><p>The Archivist is quiet but dangerous. he keeps receipts. March 15th. The school park. The fogged windshield. The moment you tried and it still wasn’t enough.</p><p><br/></p><p>And somewhere under the table, the Inner Child whispers, I’m tired. I don’t want oatmeal. I don’t want competence. I want to rest.</p><p><br/></p><p>No one responds to him.</p><p><br/></p><p>Morning always feels like this, not one thought, but a panel discussion about your worth before your feet even touches the floor. Every version of you arguing over how to survive the day.</p><p><br/></p><p>I open my eyes anyway.</p><p><br/></p><p>The ceiling is neutral. The day hasn’t judged me yet. The oatmeal is still in the cabinet. Nothing has actually happened and yet I am already exhausted.</p><p><br/></p><p>I sit up.</p><p><br/></p><p>For one brief second — between deciding to move and actually moving — there is silence.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not strategy.</p><p>Not criticism.</p><p>Not memory.</p><p><br/></p><p>Just me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Unmanaged. Unproven. Unafraid.</p><p><br/></p><p>It disappears quickly.</p><p>The committee resumes. The shower runs. The day begins.</p><p><br/></p><p>But that second was real.</p><p>Even if it was only for a short moment.</p><p><br/></p>
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