THE ESCAPE ROUTE - by Oluwakemi Lijofi

To some extent I feel like the word "SORRY" has been misused over and over again This has led to the possibility of it losing its value Now you're not sure whether someone actually means it when the word is used Saying sorry it's one thing but the real apology happens after the apology is said What are the efforts you make so as to not repeat the same mistake that led you to say sorry? It is possible to say sorry and not feel sorry since it has been seen as just a word you say when you find yourself in a discomforting situation that you just want to come out of. Some people say sorry when they want the situation to calm down and somehow escape the consequence of their action and not because they actually regret what they did or even feel remorseful. "Sorry" then becomes the quickest route out of an uncomfortable conversation What sense does it make if you keep doing the same thing after apologizing. At that point, the apology loses its meaning and becomes only a repetition.Everything keeps going in a cycle. As someone who feels hurt, you don't have to keep accepting the same apology for the same wound. Some people don't even recognize a wrong themselves until they're caught and apologize only because they were exposed or because their actions have consequences. They feel a quick apology at this point may redeem them from their wrong. We also have people who don't apologize at all. They feel right every time. They would rather defend their actions, shift blame, or act like nothing happened. They somehow chose to make excuses over being accountable.That you feel right doesn't mean someone who is hurt by the impact of your action is wrong. An apology at this point should not be replaced by excuses . A genuine apology has evidence An apology becomes real when it is followed by you understanding what you did, accepting responsibility and making efforts not to repeat that same mistake I don't know if this is applicable to everyone but there's this pattern of saying just "sorry" without "I am" which I find really annoying and lacks accountability. Who exactly is sorry? I consider it disrespectful to some extent. Forgiveness shouldn't mean giving someone the unlimited permission to hurt you in the same way. As much as important forgiving is expecting batter is also necessary. Sometimes an apology isn't an immediate guarantee that everything would return to normal because it doesn't erase the effect of what happened. Do not force someone to accept an apology immediately. Sorry can be said by anyone A whole apology can be made by anybody But not everyone is willing to change. The strongest apology is simply doing better next time. *The real escape route should be a change*

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