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35
Unspoken Expectations
<p> The weight of expectations, the burden of being the first child </p><p>In a Nigerian home, where love is often unexpressed,</p><p>You rise before the sun, and sleep when it's dark,</p><p>The eldest, the responsible one, with a heart that's left in the dark.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maturity creeps in, like a thief in the night,</p><p>Adulthood's dawn, a terrifying, crushing light,</p><p>The world expects greatness, but what if i fail?</p><p>The shame, the guilt, the feeling of being a never-ending tale.</p><p><br/></p><p>I try to be perfect, to make up for their strife,</p><p>To fill the void, the emptiness, the lack of love in life,</p><p>But it's never enough, no matter how hard you try,</p><p>The void remains, a constant, gnawing sigh.</p><p><br/></p><p>I forgive them, eventually, for not loving me right,</p><p>For not showing affection, for always being uptight </p><p>I forgive them, but the scars remain, the wounds stay,</p><p>A reminder of a childhood, that's been swept away.</p><p><br/></p><p>Depression creeps in, like a shadow in the night,</p><p>Anxiety grips my heart, like a vice, tight,</p><p>The weight of expectations, the pressure to succeed,</p><p>A never-ending cycle, that's hard to break free.</p><p><br/></p><p>I feel like drowning, in a sea of despair,</p><p>No lifeline in sight, just a struggle to breathe, to care,</p><p>I put on a mask, a brave face, a fake smile,</p><p>But inside, I'm crying, silently, all the while.</p><p><br/></p><p>I wonder if it's worth it, this life, this strife,</p><p>The constant pressure, the weight of being the first in line,</p><p>I question my worth, my value, my place,</p><p>In this world, in this family, in this endless space.</p><p><br/></p><p>But still i rise, i push, i strive,</p><p>I fight for a better tomorrow, a brighter light,</p><p>I learn to love myself , to heal the scars,</p><p>To break the cycle, to rise above the stars.</p><p><br/></p><p>This is my story, my journey, my pain,</p><p>A tale of struggle, of resilience, of love regained,</p><p>I may not have had the perfect childhood, the perfect love,</p><p>But I hope I'm not alone, i hope i'm not defined, I hope i am enough! </p>
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