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Keeyra 23 A freelancer @ Federal university Oye Ekiti.
Ikeja, Nigeria
331
128
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In Psychology 4 min read
WHEN ABSENCE BECOMES A PRESENCE: Lack of Father Figure🌑🕳🚶🏽‍♀🕊
<p>WHEN ABSENCE BECOMES A PRESENCE: La<span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'>ck of Father Figure🌑🕳🚶🏽‍♀🕊</span></p><p><br/></p><p>I stood by the balcony of my school and looked across.</p><p>All I could see were fathers showing up for their kids' presentations.</p><p>I sighed and, at the same time, smiled.</p><p><br/></p><p>After all, I was just a kid with little dreams and wild imaginations.</p><p>At least I was free to dream big.</p><p><br/></p><p>The air around me felt vivid. I noticed a slight touch.</p><p>I turned — it was a friend, one who cared. (The last I had.)</p><p>"What are you up to?" she asked.</p><p>"Nothing much," I replied. She left.</p><p><br/></p><p>Back to my thoughts... I smiled.</p><p>What would it have been like if I had a father figure?</p><p>Would I have regretted it?</p><p><br/></p><p>What was Father's Day like in my world?</p><p>Does that word even exist?</p><p><br/></p><p>Nope, it doesn’t! 😊</p><p><br/></p><p>Growing up, I was asked to say goodnight — not for love, but so others would be sure I’d gone to bed</p><p>and wouldn’t be called to run errands.</p><p><br/></p><p>But I watched other kids say “goodnight” to their parents</p><p>and receive cuddles and kisses in return. 🥺</p><p><br/></p><p>You just can't hurt me —</p><p>'Cause you already did, long ago. 😉</p><p><br/></p><p>I watched my own mum try to bond with me.</p><p>She tried to fix the gap between us.</p><p>She wanted us to be best friends.</p><p>She bought me everything I asked for, even though we were barely surviving with the little she had.</p><p><br/></p><p>She wanted her little girl back…</p><p>But I’d already forced that little girl out of me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Call me heartless if you want — but don’t blame me. 😁</p><p>This 19-year-old grew out of love.</p><p>I just can't fix the bridge.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because the absence beat the presence.</p><p><br/></p><p>I watched my own mum drown in loneliness.</p><p>I just couldn’t help — because I had already drowned too.</p><p><br/></p><p>“So where were we again?”</p><p>Oh right...</p><p>You can’t hurt me. 🤭</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Apostle Lazarus once said:</p><p>“Fathers are meant to be the foundation that holds the house.”</p><p>Beauty isn’t the word.</p><p>Strength is. 😌</p><p><br/></p><p>But what happens when the foundation isn’t laid right from the start?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Psychology says:</p><p>Girls with no or limited fatherly love tend to grow up weak —</p><p>Going around looking for love in guys.</p><p><br/></p><p>In most cases, they end up hurting themselves more.</p><p>The wounds shape their boundaries, voice, body image,</p><p>And sense of safety in the world.</p><p><br/></p><p>Guess what I went looking for?</p><p><br/></p><p>Everything.</p><p><br/></p><p>Everything about me is just... different.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>They say pain births brokenness.</p><p>Mine birthed silence and peace.</p><p><br/></p><p>I learned to tame the inner child in me.</p><p>I can't turn back time.</p><p>I can't change my mum’s past or rebuild our adolescent bond.</p><p><br/></p><p>They told me to heal up and stop sulking. 😇</p><p>But do you know what hurt the most?</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>My wounds were hard to heal because:</p><p><br/></p><p>My inner child wants love</p><p><br/></p><p>My teenage self wants revenge</p><p><br/></p><p>And my current self? She just wants peace 😅</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Three against one.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>I said “I was strong” —</p><p>But really,</p><p>What kid could’ve handled it?</p><p><br/></p><p>Never mind.</p><p>No one really cares.</p><p>As long as I don’t become a nuisance in this world.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>But I plan to do better.</p><p>I will use my pain to reinvest in my life.</p><p>To become the greatest my bloodline has ever seen —</p><p>And pass it down.</p><p><br/></p><p>So if your dad goes out of his way to make life better for you...</p><p><br/></p><p>Appreciate him.</p><p>After all, our parents aren't heroes — they're just like us!</p><p><br/></p><p>Because some of us…</p><p>Never even got to see what that looked like.</p><p><br/></p><p><span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'>For instance:</span></p><p>Do you know who my father is?</p><p><br/></p><p>“No.”</p><p><span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'>Neither do I. 😉</span></p><p><span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'><br/></span></p><p><span style='background-color: transparent; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;'><a class="tc-blue" href="https://twocents.space/insights/tag/keeyra">#keeyra</a>✍🏽</span></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p>
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WHEN ABSENCE BECOMES A PRESENCE: Lack of Father...
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