I refreshed my account and kept seeing a balance of ₦5,000. I was so shocked. I knew I was supposed to have more than that. So I went through all my spending and calculations, and indeed, OPay did not dupe me. I was so sad. I had thought I would be able to save a little, but I couldn't save anything. It hit me hard, because all of it went into trying to look good and presentable. I was the secretary, the first person anyone saw when they walked into the office, so I had to look the part. And girls, you know how expensive it is now to buy attachment and get your hair done. It was so frustrating to keep up.

Funny enough, I recently came across this: the word "salary" comes from the Latin word *salarium*, which historically meant an allowance given to Roman soldiers to buy salt. So when I say my salary kept disappearing, it was never meant to be much in the first place. 😂

By the 15th of the month, I was on the verge of dying. I took a bike from my house to work every day. I even tried trekking home, but it still wasn't enough. My colleagues kept complimenting how good I looked and how nice I smelled. I liked it, but I eventually had to go home and cry, because I had nothing. So I reached out to a friend, and he said he would see what he could do and get back to me. While I waited, I could no longer eat properly. The only time I ate was when there was food at home that I could take to work, and even then I only ate in the afternoon, because I closed by 6 or 7 at most. Everybody kept asking, "Is the job that stressful?" Of course it wasn't. I was always on the system, sitting on a chair every single day. The problem was not eating well. It was so sad, and I felt so bad.

Eventually my friend came through and sent me some money, which I used to manage myself. At the same time, work got more intense. Whenever many containers were coming in that week, I had to do all the paperwork, and then go home exhausted. It wasn't easy, and I could not wait for the month to end because I was so choked up.

Finally, the month ended. I was so eager. I told myself, "This time, I am going to be very, very judicious with my salary. I will do this, I will do that." My dear, guess what? There we were again at a particular fixed amount. I wondered what exactly was happening. Was it supposed to be this bad?

Now, here is the shocking part. A guy I was seeing at the time texted me to say that I did not love him, that I was stingy and cold-hearted. I asked, "What happened?" He said that ever since I started working and collected my salary, I had not sent him any money. I was like, "What the hell?" I was literally trying to survive, and he was telling me I wasn't sending him money. From how much salary? 😭 We fought over it for a long time, and he wasn't ready to talk to me. Being very young, I considered it, and I ended up sending him part of what I had. That brought another struggle, another month of hardship. I could not feed well. I could not afford transport. It got to the point where I had to reach out to OPay to take a loan. That was the first time in my life I had ever collected a loan, and it felt so dumb, because I was working and was supposed to be earning and be okay. My dear, earning in Nigeria is something else.So I told myself this couldn't continue, and I was going to ask my boss for a salary increase. Maybe that would help. In the next series I will tell you how that went. 

Thank you so much for always engaging. I love you. 💛