Let's go back to the years

I was still innocent.

Years when the only pain I knew

was falling down.

Years when the only time I cried

was when I was hungry.

Let's go back to when

all I did was eat, sleep, and play.

Now, now...

My story has been rewritten.

I cry when everything feels

too much or too little.

Where all I do is think of how to be better

or how to make money.

I miss 'em days of lil' me.

Now I know

the true definition of pain.

Not heartbreak pain,

but the kind of pain you've been fighting

for over a decade.

A pain no one has said,

"This is the solution. Let's do it."

A pain I've endured.

A pain I've popped painkillers for,

taken injections for,

prayed over,

waited out,

yet, yet... it still stays.

A scary story

I haven't healed from.

A story I tell

with tears rolling down my face

and so much ache in my chest.

And maybe that's the worst part,

I remember a version of me

who didn't know pain like this.

I miss her.

But she's long gone,

buried in my memories.

 ~Reniwrites 🦋