Apparently I was next - by Tari Elise

By ten in the morning, the wedding had already become too much.I knew this because I had been there for exactly forty-three minutes and had already considered leaving three times.The traffic had been terrible. The hall was hotter than it had any business being. Someone's perfume had entered my nostrils with the determination of clogging my sense of smell and everywhere I looked, there was colour.Too much that it hurt my eyesGreen. Gold. Purple. Silver.Asoebi everywhere.Women moved around in carefully arranged gele, each one looking like she had spent three hours preparing to look as though she had spent no time preparing at all. Men stood in groups, laughing loudly, adjusting their caps and greeting people they had probably never met before in their lives. The bride's friends were taking pictures. The bride's aunties were taking pictures. People who had no business being in the pictures were also taking pictures. There was a photographer moving through the crowd with the urgency of a man whose life was at stake I sat quietly at my table and watched.This was what weddings really were.Not just two people getting married.A wedding was a family reunion, fashion show, concert, buffet, photoshoot, political gathering and informal matchmaking event conveniently held under one roof.And I had foolishly come without an escape plan.I blame my mother for this. I knew I couldn't escape it the moment her name lit up on my screen “Ah! Look at you!”I looked up. An aunt I hadn't seen in almost two years was standing beside me, smiling.I stood quickly and hugged her. “My dear, you've grown so beautiful!” “Thank you, ma.” The woman held me at arm's length and examined me. Then came the pause. That particular pause. I knew it.I had seen it before.I mentally prepared herself. “So…” There it was. “…when are we coming for your own?” I smiled. “Very soon, ma.” The woman's face brightened. “Really?” “Yes.” “When?” I picked up my phone and pretended to check something. “I'm waiting for the husband, ma. Once he arrives, I'll let you know.” The woman burst out laughing. I laughed too. Everyone was happy. Excellent. Crisis averted. For now. I had barely returned to my seat when another relative appeared. “Young lady! You're next o!” I turned. “Next for what?” The woman stared at me. I stared back. “For marriage now!” “Oh.” I nodded thoughtfully. “I thought you meant the buffet.” The woman laughed so loudly that the people at the next table turned. “You this girl!” I smiled sweetly. Inside, I was counting down the minutes until she could leave. The wedding hadn't even properly started. When the bride finally entered, everyone stood. Phones came out almost immediately. People screamed. Someone near me shouted, “Awwww!” Another person shouted, “Beautiful!” The music grew louder. The bride smiled the smile of a woman who had spent months preparing for this exact moment and had probably forgotten what it felt like to walk into a room without being photographed. I watched her. And despite everything, I smiled. The bride really did look beautiful. There was something about seeing someone you knew begin a new chapter that made you pause. For a few seconds, I wasn't thinking about the aunties or the questions or the heat. I was simply happy for her.My cousin who was also my best friend at one point in life.Then the woman beside me leaned over.“See her? You better not waste time.”I closed her eyes briefly.Of course.Of course.Even during the bride's <a class="tc-blue external-link" href="https://entrance.They" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">entrance.They </a> couldn't spare me for 5 minutes I opened them.“Yes, ma.” “You're getting older.” I smiled. “Thank you, ma.” The woman frowned. “For what?” “For the information.” The woman laughed. I looked away before my face gave her away. No matter how hard I try to act tough, their words always affect me By lunchtime, the wedding had reached its most dangerous stage. People were hungry. Very hungry. The kind of hungry that made grown adults abandon dignity. The moment food began arriving, the entire atmosphere changed. People who had spent the last two hours sitting elegantly suddenly became extremely interested in logistics. “Has your table been served?” “What's the protein?” “Is that rice?” “Please, don't forget my own.” Someone at another table was already asking for a takeaway pack. I watched all of this while eating slowly. A little boy ran past her carrying a bottle of soft drink twice the size of his head.Two men were arguing cheerfully about football.This was how weddings went.Everybody came with their own agenda.The couple wanted to celebrate.The parents wanted to show the world their children had married.The friends wanted pictures.The aunties wanted updatesThree aunties were discussing someone's daughter in voices that suggested they believed gossip became invisible if you lowered it slightly.I smiled to herself.There was something comforting about it all.The noise.The ridiculousness.The familiarity.The children wanted cake.And apparently, everyone wanted to know when I was getting married. It always came back to thatBy four o'clock, I had been asked six times.Six.I had started keeping count.The seventh person was a cousin who had been married for three years.“You know,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “you're actually the only one left.”I looked around.“Left where?”He laughed.“Don't mind me. I'm just saying. You should start thinking about it.”I nodded seriously.“I've been thinking.”“Good.”“Yes. I've decided to become a nun.”He choked on his drink.I burst out laughing.“I'm joking!”“I was about to pray for you!”“Please do. Pray that the next person who asks me when I'm getting married doesn't get a knife lodged in his throat.”He stared at me.“You're impossible.”“I know.”I know that I don't dislike marriage.I wasn't secretly angry at married people.I didn't look at the bride and feel jealous.I didn't want what the bride had simply because everyone else had decided I should.I just didn't understand why my life always seemed to require a timetable that everybody else had access to.At twenty-eight, I was apparently behind schedule.Behind what schedule, nobody could explain.I had plans.I had work.I had friends.I had books I haven't finished, places I wanted to visit, things I wanted to learn, money I wanted to make and a life I was still figuring out.But somehow, none of these things seemed to count as progress.Marriage did.A husband did.A ring did.A wedding did.Everything else was apparently just preparation.She looked across the hall at the newly married couple dancing.They looked happy.I smiled.Good for them.Truly.But I hoped everyone would eventually learn that happiness did not have to arrive wearing the same outfit.By the time the last round of dancing started, I was done.My feet hurt.My makeup was fading.My phone was on twelve percent.And somebody had asked me if I had “someone special” four separate times.I had stopped answering honestly.“Yes.”“Who?”“Myself.”That one had confused them.I liked it.So when my mother finally called and asked, “Are you still at the wedding?”I answered immediately.“Yes.”“When are you coming home?”“Now.”I didn't even say goodbye properly.I hugged the bride, wished her well, collected my handbag and made my way outside.The evening air hit my face.I breathed in.Freedom.I got into the car, kicked off my shoes and leaned my head against the seat.For the first time all day, nobody was asking me anything.No one wanted to know when I was getting married.No one wanted to know if I had found someone.No one wanted to remind me that I was getting older.There was just the quiet hum of the car and the familiar road home.I smiled.Tomorrow, I would return to my ordinary life.The life with no wedding hashtag.No matching outfits.No aunties taking attendance.No one announcing that she was next.Just my life.And, for now, that was enough.Besides, if there really was a husband somewhere waiting for me, he could wait a little longer.I had a wedding to recover from.

Other insights from Tari Elise

Contributor Points

Points-to-Coupons

Referral Earning