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108
David Lilly-West
Student @ Babcock University
Student @ Babcock University
Ashes with a smile
<p>You were the fire that kept me warm,</p><p>Now I have to let the flames die out,</p><p>My heart burned for you,</p><p>Now it has turned cold at the thought of your name.</p><p><br/></p><p>For a long time I kept your ghost fed,</p><p>Set a plate for you at every table in my head,</p><p>Left the window open in case you came back,</p><p>I smelled you in every perfume, until I finally stopped searching for you in them.</p><p><br/></p><p>You haunted me most sweetly,</p><p>In songs I couldn’t skip,</p><p>In every laugh that sounded too much like yours,</p><p>I was a house with the lights turned on for someone who moved out.</p><p><br/></p><p>And then, one morning it didn’t hurt to wake up </p><p>I woke up, and you weren’t my first thought</p><p>I laughed and didn’t feel guilty that you weren’t the reason,</p><p>The fire you left me in finally taught me how to breathe through smoke.</p><p><br/></p><p>I stopped hoping for a comeback,</p><p>my heart finally accepted the end of our chapter.</p><p><br/></p><p>Now my chest is quiet, </p><p>Not empty — quiet,</p><p>Not cold from bitterness, cold from peace,</p><p>The kind of cold that comes after the fever breaks.</p><p><br/></p><p>No more bargaining with memories,</p><p>No more rehearsing what I’d say when you finally said</p><p>“I'm sorry, West”. “I miss us” </p><p>If you come back, you’d meet a different guy </p><p>One who knows fire, but no longer begs to be kept warm by it.</p><p><br/></p><p>So I sweep the ashes with a smile,</p><p>I close the window; I turn off the porch light.</p><p>No hate in my hands. Just freedom </p><p><br/></p><p><em>My heart has loved you.</em></p><p><em>It has given you enough.</em></p><p><em>Now it's time to let you go...</em></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p>
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165
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