_{A Journey of Life, Trials and Decisions}

My name is Nathan, and I’m about to take you on a journey about choices. The way they have affected my life, both positively and negatively. This was never about being smart or knowledgeable; it’s about the trials and tests of life. For some people, life simply happened, and for some, God made it happen, for before it happened, God had already been aware of it.

My early life started on the outskirts of Lagos, Surulere, in a gated, self-contained apartment on Adeniran Ogunsanya Street, which housed more than just myself. It simply sheltered my parents, me, and my two other siblings. It was a sweet and bitter experience, as it started well.

I was the only child, with a knack for getting whatever I wanted, which worked for a very long time before my other siblings came into the picture. Slowly, the love began to fade, and reality began to set in; I’m the first child, and I need to start acting like one.

Just like that, I changed from that loving young boy into a very depressed individual. Nothing became exciting anymore. I lived a depressing life, but my parents didn’t notice. They just thought I had become silent over time.

Then came the opportunity to advance in my studies. I called it an “Opportunity” because my parents couldn’t afford to pay for my tuition and other miscellaneous expenses. They simply said they had no money, which also implied that they didn’t have my time. Their focus remained on my younger siblings, which silently nurtured hatred in my mind instead of love.

On a fateful Saturday, I got a call from my big daddy, Mr. Agbajelola Ayuba (my dad’s elder brother), saying that he’d already gone ahead to register me at Moshood Abiola Polytechnic, Abeokuta (MAPOLY), and that all I needed to do was schedule a convenient day to go over and complete my onboarding process.

I thanked him and told him I’d be available the following Saturday. We linked up on the said date, completed my onboarding process, and he handed me ₦50,000 in cash as my stipend for the entire first school year.

I remember thanking him from the bottom of my heart while crying as if I’d lost a loved one, whereas it was just a tear of joy. That was a lot of money at the time, sometime around 2011/2012.

Studies were going according to plan. I attended lectures like I had something to prove, whereas only I knew the truth. I had nothing to prove. Prove what, and to whom exactly? My parents? My siblings? The same ones who didn’t have my time anymore? The same people who didn’t care about my feelings or how I had suddenly become silent?

Please, I had nothing to prove to anyone, and that’s right.

Two months after settling into campus, the alumni announced that a “Freshers’ Party” would be coming up at the end of the month, after the examinations had been concluded. It was a way to welcome and properly celebrate the students for reaching a rather achievable milestone.

Students from different departments started discussing what clothes to wear and what shoes to style with them. I felt the need to join in on the conversation, and I did by saying, “Why not show up to the party dressed in an all-white attire?”

They turned their gaze towards the person who had just told them that the idea they’d been considering was a bad one.

I silently swallowed my saliva because I knew I’d just gotten myself into big trouble.

“Yanga sat down, and I go wake am, lol.”

They kept staring at me. Not a word was uttered. Their stares lingered like the scent of bottled fragrance.

It went on until one of them finally broke the silence.

“Wasere omo iyami, ori e wani be, Olohun se, white yen gangan na lama wo.”

Which simply means, “You’re valid, my person. We’re all going to wear white.”

The others started laughing hard, uncontrollably. They laughed until they could barely breathe. Then they got serious again.

They asked me what my name was, and we exchanged pleasantries. They further suggested that they would like to have me at the party, and I told them it wasn’t an issue, as I was a partygoer and party lover myself.

We ended things there, and I didn’t think there was anything more to the whole thing. I just headed home afterwards, and I kept laughing whenever I remembered all that had happened that day.

That was the first time I laughed with sincerity in four years, and it felt so good.

That’ll be all.

Want to know how it all turned out?

You’ll know whether I made the choice by saying YES or NO.

Same time next week.

With Love,

The Jotter Keeper