Chronicles towards our fleeting ruse : eyes that see what they wish to see

And I have arrived once more, not really sure how much parts are going to be under this series but I still have a year to go so....The name's Echo vale someone who hears herself in the valley comforted by God.This is the third part of my series so far an well for someone who claims to struggle with expressing herself I can say that writing is definitely the best thing for me. And this time we start with a reference."You must learn to see people as they are, not as you wish them to be." A very obvious truth, yet a not-so-obvious act. My dearest reader, the people you claim to love with your whole heart, do you truly love them?Or do you love the version of them you created in your mind?Did you not filter the image you were given into a dream come true?Their flaws covered, their virtues worshipped, all because of that strange thing we call love?Or perhaps the better question is this:Have you ever truly seen them at all?For what one may claim to be love could simply be a fantasy they wished existed.A person shaped not by truth, but by a blinded claim.Not who they were, but who we wanted them to be. Because sometimes your eyes only sees what it wishes to see and that could be quite painful when we finally realize...that is if we are lucky enough too.The most dangerous form of blindness is believing that your perspective is the only reality. Ponder on that a bit before we move on to the main part of this piece,And maybe share a story or two if you've ever experienced it yourself. During this last year of mine I met a new story.Not as beautiful and special as my first but rather reflects the ugly side of a pain comforted by beauty.But who am I to say anything...right? No one in this world is perfect as they claim or wish to be,Because the only perfect person to walk on this earth already died at the cross for us. This time he was different from my first,Fair skinned,Not so tall compared to him, Had a different kind of cuteness that makes you smile,But this time I couldn't help but see him differently,Because what made so him different this time was his certainty.He cared.He liked me.And unlike before, there was no confusion in that aspect.No wondering.No guessing.No asking God for signs that were never there.Perhaps that was why I viewed him as the complete opposite. But as the saying goes,Once bitten twice shy,Though if I'm being honest, I was originally quite shy from the start.I wasn't ready to even think about it,Currently going through two different kinds of acceptance,(I'll fill you in on the second one later). I wasn't ready to accept that I could try again.But then again, I noticed something very beautiful this time,The person he liked was the one he looked at but hadn't truly seen yet.The person he thought I was.The person I claimed to be, or perhaps had become.A girl shrouded by the walls of heartbreak, hidden behind quite a pretty smile.And yet I wasn't ready to show him that person.The person beneath the smile.The one hidden behind those walls.The one who could have let them fall for him. Was I scared that he wouldn't like me back?Not really.I didn't like him enough to care,Rather you could say that I wasn't ready to view another person at my side Not when "he" still lingers around me.You like the person you thought I was,And I was still carrying the memories of who i wished was with me...luckily i realized that early.Because had I not,I fear we would have spent far too long loving people who were never truly standing in front of us. You could say in this case being aware of your emotional state could be quite a blessing,Dragging you out from a story that was never about our honest selves,A story built upon who we thought we were,Rather than who we truly were. But then again was it meant to be written?Getting over a person that I now see as nothing more than a sad story with a beautiful journey,And the starting a new one with someone who tries to see me the same way I once tried to view someone else,Shouldn't I be happy?Shouldn't i take the chance to leave a story that was nothing but beautiful?To walk towards an ending that had an actual ending? But how could I ?When I learned how powerful this emotion can bePowerful enough to make a person wait for an ending that never came.Powerful enough to make a beautiful story feel eternal.And powerful enough to leave its traces behind long after it was over.Yes it is beautiful Yes, it is beautiful.But beauty alone is no longer enough to convince me. I want to start to see the beauty of the world my God created,I want to start planning out the future that I'm not sure how it'll end. but i just want to be at peace.is that so much to ask? Aren't I human?Perhaps being human is not a justification at all.Perhaps it is merely an explanation.I'm hurt,Afraid.And I was seeing you through the memory of someone you don't even know. But none of those things change the fact that I did it.None of those things make me right.Then why are some allowed to be selfish with a justifiable reason as 'existing'?Why can't I say that I'm the bad guy?Seeing someone honest feelings as nothing but a shadow to the person i never told my true feelings to? Even now as I try to talk about you I keep bring him to the conversation, Pathetic. I'm sorry for not even giving you the chance, But I can't ever be sorry for not liking you back, Because what your eyes wished to see me as isn't who I deserved to be.And the eyes I saw you as is as one who is still trying to figure things out,so I beg of you to move on, because if everything you offered was never enough, please offer you absence.Because I'm a very, very selfish person who doesn't deserve your sweet beautiful and honest feelings.And very soon I will be remembered as nothing but the memory of the person you only saw me as. So let us dine as we move to our next new chapter Echo vale^^

Chronicles Towards Our Fleeting Ruse

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