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1059
Confused Soul
<p><strong>CONFUSED SOUL</strong></p><p><br/></p><p>Lying recklessly on my bed, <span style="background-color: transparent;">as though the weight of my body </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">could somehow silence </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">the noise inside my head.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">But the thoughts keep coming.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">One after another.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Ideas walk in,</span></p><p>questions follow,</p><p>and suddenly, <span style="background-color: transparent;">my mind becomes a room </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">I no longer know how to escape.</span></p><p><br/></p><p>What have I done?</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">What has been done to me?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Where is my conscience?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Is it still here?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Is it still mine?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Or did I leave it somewhere </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">between the person I used to be </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">and the person I am becoming?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">What on earth happened to me?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">When did I become this cold?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I was always soft-hearted.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I used to care deeply.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I used to feel things </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">without being afraid of what they would do to me.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">So when did I begin </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">building walls within myself?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">What did I install in my heart </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">without even knowing?</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">What did life place inside me </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">while I was too busy trying to survive?</span></p><p><br/></p><p>Sometimes,</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br/></span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I look at myself </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">and wonder if I am still me.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Because somewhere along the way, </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">the girl I used to know </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">became a memory.</span></p><p><br/></p><p>She was softer.</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">She laughed without thinking too much.</span></p><p>She trusted her own heart.</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">She did not carry </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">a thousand questions to bed every night.</span></p><p><br/></p><p>And now,</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I am here.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Wearing her face.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Speaking with her voice.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Living her life.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">But somehow,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I feel like a stranger </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">living inside her body.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">My heart has failed me again.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Or perhaps, </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">I have failed my own heart.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">My mind keeps playing tricks on me.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Making me question </span><span style="background-color: transparent;"></span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">what I saw.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I felt.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">What I knew.</span></p><p><br/></p><p>And suddenly,</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">nothing is certain anymore.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Not even me.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Still,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I am confused.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Maybe I have become this person</span></p><p>without realising it.</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Maybe I am still becoming.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Maybe the old version of me</span></p><p>had to disappear <span style="background-color: transparent;">for another version to survive.</span></p><p><br/></p><p>I don't know.</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">So tonight, </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">I will let my mind wander.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I will let the thoughts come.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I will let the questions ask themselves.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">Perhaps one day,</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I will have answers.</span></p><p><br/></p><p>Perhaps one day,</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I will look into the mirror</span><span style="background-color: transparent;">and recognise the person</span></p><p>looking back at me.</p><p><br/></p><p>Until then,</p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">I will remain here.</span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;">A confused soul, </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">trying to find her way back to herself</span><span style="background-color: transparent;">.</span></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/1001733895.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;"/><span style="background-color: transparent;">Happy New Month, Fam!</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"></span></p><p><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br/></span></p>
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