GENTLE PARENTING. - by Ruthieee

I have been seeing a lot of conversations about gentle parenting on TikTok, and honestly… I’ve been wanting to say something. And maybe I’m going to be emotional saying this, but I think I need to say it because this is something I’ve been thinking about from a very personal place. I don’t think parenting is a one-size-fits-all thing. I don’t think you can look at one family and say, “This is how every other family should raise their children.” Because every family has a story. And I’ll use my family as an example. When my parents had me, I was their only child for ten years. Ten years. Just me. Then, after ten years, my younger sister was born. And then five years later, my younger brother was born. But my brother died. And after that, my mother conceived again, but she had a miscarriage. So when I think about my childhood, when I think about the way my parents raised me and my sister, I understand that my experience was different. I am not saying my parents never beat me. They did. I was beaten. But I also know that I was raised with love. I was raised with patience. And I know that my parents didn't treat me the way every other parent treated their children. Because I was their only child for ten years. Ten years of just me. And then my sister came. And my parents waited years before having another child. So when I see people online saying things like, “If you don't beat your child, you're not training them,” or “Children these days are not being raised properly because of gentle parenting,” I honestly start to wonder… What exactly do you want parents to do? Because I recently saw a video where a child pulled a woman's wig. The child was on the mother's back, and apparently, the child thought the wig looked like a masquerade or something strange. And the mother apologized and explained that the child was still young and didn't really understand what they were doing. And I saw people saying that the mother should have beaten the child. And I was just there thinking… Why? Why must the first response always be to hit the child? Can the child be corrected? Of course. The mother could say, “Don't pull people's things. That is not right. Say sorry.” That's correction. That's discipline. The child can be taught that what they did was wrong without being slapped or beaten. And please, I'm not saying children should be allowed to do whatever they want. I'm not saying children shouldn't have boundaries. I'm not saying parents shouldn't discipline their children. But why do we act like the only way to discipline a child is to make them afraid of you? Why do we think that if a parent doesn't hit their child, then that parent has failed? And maybe this is personal to me because of the family I come from. My parents waited ten years to have another child after me. They waited five years before having my brother. And then they lost him. My mother had a miscarriage after that. So when I think about my family, I think about how much waiting, hope, and loss surrounded the children my parents had. I think about my mother. I think about my sister. I think about how my sister and I are the only girls my parents have. And I understand why my parents loved us the way they did. I understand why they were protective. I understand why they were patient. I understand why they couldn't treat us like we were just one of many children. And I'm not saying that parents who have many children love their children less. Please don't misunderstand me. That's not my point. My point is that every family has a different story. Some people have one child. Some people have two. Some people have six. Some people have lost children. Some people have waited years to have children. Some people have experienced things you know nothing about. So you cannot look at a family and say, “This is how you must raise your child.” Because you don't know their story. And I think this is what people don't understand about gentle parenting. Gentle parenting does not mean allowing your child to become rude. It doesn't mean allowing your child to hit people. It doesn't mean allowing your child to destroy things. It doesn't mean there are no consequences. You can say no to your child. You can correct your child. You can set boundaries. You can discipline your child. But you don't always have to beat them to do it. Because what are we actually teaching children when our first response to everything is violence? Are we teaching them that they did something wrong? Or are we just teaching them to be afraid of us? And honestly, I know people will disagree with me. Some people will say, “I was beaten and I turned out fine.” And maybe you did. I was beaten too. But I also know that the love and patience I received from my parents mattered. And sometimes I wonder if we are too quick to say, “I was beaten and I turned out fine,” without asking ourselves whether we could have turned out fine without being beaten too. Because maybe discipline is necessary. But maybe violence isn't. I don't think a child should be allowed to do whatever they want. But I also don't think a child should be hit for every mistake they make. Children are learning. They are learning how to communicate. They are learning how to control their emotions. They are learning what is right and wrong. And yes, they need boundaries. But they also need guidance. They need someone to teach them. And sometimes, they need someone to remember that they are still children. So no, I don't think gentle parenting means children should be raised without discipline. I think it means we should be careful not to confuse discipline with violence. Because you can raise a respectful child without making that child afraid of you. You can correct a child without destroying their confidence. You can set boundaries without hitting. And you can love your child deeply while still teaching them right from wrong. That's just how I see it. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you disagree. But this is what I believe. Every family has a story. And before we judge the way someone is raising their child, maybe we should remember that we don't know everything that child, that parent, or that family has been through. Because sometimes… The way a parent loves their child is shaped by everything they had to go through to have that child in the first place.

Other insights from Ruthieee

Referral Earning

Points-to-Coupons