HER STORY: I Guess The Story Didn't End There.

How do you explain to a teen how to move on? ‎Apparently, they don’t teach that in schools, so I flunked out. ‎Life teaches you, death too. ‎But I think life does it better.‎‎Mom and Dad thought therapy was the way. ‎The therapists needed therapy when they heard my story. ‎I got PTSD when I stayed in cars, be it a cab or Dad’s. ‎I couldn’t have a boyfriend while my peers were having theirs. ‎I could feel his presence when a guy tries to say hi. ‎Is that normal? ‎Basically, my teenage years were over before they began.‎‎Deep down I feel jealous. Death stole my man from me. Nothing to be done, I guess. ‎I just wish he’s happy with Her. ‎Deep down I feel jealous; the ground wraps and holds him better than I ever would.‎‎Oh, lest I forget, I started smoking too. ‎Rolling blunts, rolling spliffs, rolling skunk. ‎My excuse: if I could get high enough, I might see him. ‎What? Don’t blame me. I was seriously in love before She came in.‎‎I started rolling with guys society frowned at. ‎I just started rolling generally; rolling around the rollercoaster life set for me. ‎And you know what they say: “Only dead fish go with the flow.” ‎Maybe I was trying to be just like him.‎‎I just imagine how his parents are taking it. ‎Our families don’t talk like they used to. ‎How do you start a conversation after that? ‎“I’m sorry your son was stabbed and shot multiple times because he was out partying late with our daughter.” ‎It doesn’t sound right, does it? ‎Does it?!!‎‎I’m sorry for shouting. You know how it goes. ‎Well, I guess you don’t.‎‎“You lose the ones you love.” I guess that’s what life was trying to write on the wall. ‎It did it in caps, in large fonts too. ‎What a cunt.‎‎But what’s the point of all this? You get born. ‎A few months in, you start to crawl, then walk. ‎You get your balance and you start to run. ‎You start school, you make friends, and maybe you meet your crush.‎‎Unfortunately, he doesn’t like you back. ‎But mine did. I was lucky enough to be liked by my first. ‎Long story short, he cheated and left with Her. ‎Tell me, what did She have that I didn’t? ‎A prettier face or prettier eyes? ‎A better personality than I’d ever have? ‎Tell me!!!‎‎I'm sorry for shouting again, it's just... My world's caving in. ‎These past few years haven't been it. ‎I mean, it's darker than it's ever been. ‎Colder than it's ever been. ‎Life's just falling down on me, like it's the summer rain. ‎Who to blame? Wrong question. ‎Rather, what to blame? ‎‎I just want to get better. ‎"Get better, are you sick?" ‎Yes, I am sick and I'm tired of this... ‎Put your eggs in one basket, only for life to put holes in it. ‎I walk into a room, it goes quiet. I'm tired of acting like the silence isn't deafening. ‎I'm sick of life putting me in cuffs like it's arresting me. ‎Please let me free, let me be! ‎‎I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the beast the rest of the world sees. ‎I can't feign blindness anymore; it's getting visible, even the blind can all see it. ‎I can't. I'm just... sick and tired.‎‎

Her Story

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