How do you explain to a teen how to move on?
Apparently, they don’t teach that in schools, so I flunked out.
Life teaches you, death too.
But I think life does it better.
Mom and Dad thought therapy was the way.
The therapists needed therapy when they heard my story.
I got PTSD when I stayed in cars, be it a cab or Dad’s.
I couldn’t have a boyfriend while my peers were having theirs.
I could feel his presence when a guy tries to say hi.
Is that normal?
Basically, my teenage years were over before they began.
Deep down I feel jealous. Death stole my man from me. Nothing to be done, I guess.
I just wish he’s happy with Her.
Deep down I feel jealous; the ground wraps and holds him better than I ever would.
Oh, lest I forget, I started smoking too.
Rolling blunts, rolling spliffs, rolling skunk.
My excuse: if I could get high enough, I might see him.
What? Don’t blame me. I was seriously in love before She came in.
I started rolling with guys society frowned at.
I just started rolling generally; rolling around the rollercoaster life set for me.
And you know what they say: “Only dead fish go with the flow.”
Maybe I was trying to be just like him.
I just imagine how his parents are taking it.
Our families don’t talk like they used to.
How do you start a conversation after that?
“I’m sorry your son was stabbed and shot multiple times because he was out partying late with our daughter.”
It doesn’t sound right, does it?
Does it?!!
I’m sorry for shouting. You know how it goes.
Well, I guess you don’t.
“You lose the ones you love.” I guess that’s what life was trying to write on the wall.
It did it in caps, in large fonts too.
What a cunt.
But what’s the point of all this? You get born.
A few months in, you start to crawl, then walk.
You get your balance and you start to run.
You start school, you make friends, and maybe you meet your crush.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t like you back.
But mine did. I was lucky enough to be liked by my first.
Long story short, he cheated and left with Her.
Tell me, what did She have that I didn’t?
A prettier face or prettier eyes?
A better personality than I’d ever have?
Tell me!!!
I'm sorry for shouting again, it's just... My world's caving in.
These past few years haven't been it.
I mean, it's darker than it's ever been.
Colder than it's ever been.
Life's just falling down on me, like it's the summer rain.
Who to blame? Wrong question.
Rather, what to blame?
I just want to get better.
"Get better, are you sick?"
Yes, I am sick and I'm tired of this...
Put your eggs in one basket, only for life to put holes in it.
I walk into a room, it goes quiet. I'm tired of acting like the silence isn't deafening.
I'm sick of life putting me in cuffs like it's arresting me.
Please let me free, let me be!
I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the beast the rest of the world sees.
I can't feign blindness anymore; it's getting visible, even the blind can all see it.
I can't. I'm just... sick and tired.
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