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Bellamine Nigeria Student @ Enugu State University of Science and Technology
In Literature, Writing and Blogging • 3 min read •
HER STORY: I Guess The Story Didn't End There.

How do you explain to a teen how to move on?  

‎Apparently, they don’t teach that in schools, so I flunked out.  

‎Life teaches you, death too.  

‎But I think life does it better.

‎

‎Mom and Dad thought therapy was the way.  

‎The therapists needed therapy when they heard my story.  

‎I got PTSD when I stayed in cars, be it a cab or Dad’s.  

‎I couldn’t have a boyfriend while my peers were having theirs.  

‎I could feel his presence when a guy tries to say hi.  

‎Is that normal?  

‎Basically, my teenage years were over before they began.

‎

‎Deep down I feel jealous. Death stole my man from me. Nothing to be done, I guess.  

‎I just wish he’s happy with Her.  

‎Deep down I feel jealous; the ground wraps and holds him better than I ever would.

‎

‎Oh, lest I forget, I started smoking too.  

‎Rolling blunts, rolling spliffs, rolling skunk.  

‎My excuse: if I could get high enough, I might see him.  

‎What? Don’t blame me. I was seriously in love before She came in.

‎

‎I started rolling with guys society frowned at.  

‎I just started rolling generally; rolling around the rollercoaster life set for me.  

‎And you know what they say: “Only dead fish go with the flow.”  

‎Maybe I was trying to be just like him.

‎

‎I just imagine how his parents are taking it.  

‎Our families don’t talk like they used to.  

‎How do you start a conversation after that?  

‎“I’m sorry your son was stabbed and shot multiple times because he was out partying late with our daughter.”  

‎It doesn’t sound right, does it?  

‎Does it?!!

‎

‎I’m sorry for shouting. You know how it goes.  

‎Well, I guess you don’t.

‎

‎“You lose the ones you love.” I guess that’s what life was trying to write on the wall.  

‎It did it in caps, in large fonts too.  

‎What a cunt.

‎

‎But what’s the point of all this? You get born.  

‎A few months in, you start to crawl, then walk.  

‎You get your balance and you start to run.  

‎You start school, you make friends, and maybe you meet your crush.

‎

‎Unfortunately, he doesn’t like you back.  

‎But mine did. I was lucky enough to be liked by my first.  

‎Long story short, he cheated and left with Her.  

‎Tell me, what did She have that I didn’t?  

‎A prettier face or prettier eyes?  

‎A better personality than I’d ever have?  

‎Tell me!!!

‎

‎I'm sorry for shouting again, it's just... My world's caving in.  

‎These past few years haven't been it.  

‎I mean, it's darker than it's ever been.  

‎Colder than it's ever been.  

‎Life's just falling down on me, like it's the summer rain.  

‎Who to blame? Wrong question.  

‎Rather, what to blame?  

‎

‎I just want to get better.  

‎"Get better, are you sick?"  

‎Yes, I am sick and I'm tired of this...  

‎Put your eggs in one basket, only for life to put holes in it.  

‎I walk into a room, it goes quiet. I'm tired of acting like the silence isn't deafening.  

‎I'm sick of life putting me in cuffs like it's arresting me.  

‎Please let me free, let me be!  

‎

‎I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the beast the rest of the world sees.  

‎I can't feign blindness anymore; it's getting visible, even the blind can all see it.  

‎I can't. I'm just... sick and tired.

‎

‎


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