<p>How do you explain to a teen how to move on? </p><p>Apparently, they don’t teach that in schools, so I flunked out. </p><p>Life teaches you, death too. </p><p>But I think life does it better.</p><p></p><p>Mom and Dad thought therapy was the way. </p><p>The therapists needed therapy when they heard my story. </p><p>I got PTSD when I stayed in cars, be it a cab or Dad’s. </p><p>I couldn’t have a boyfriend while my peers were having theirs. </p><p>I could feel his presence when a guy tries to say hi. </p><p>Is that normal? </p><p>Basically, my teenage years were over before they began.</p><p></p><p>Deep down I feel jealous. Death stole my man from me. Nothing to be done, I guess. </p><p>I just wish he’s happy with Her. </p><p>Deep down I feel jealous; the ground wraps and holds him better than I ever would.</p><p></p><p>Oh, lest I forget, I started smoking too. </p><p>Rolling blunts, rolling spliffs, rolling skunk. </p><p>My excuse: if I could get high enough, I might see him. </p><p>What? Don’t blame me. I was seriously in love before She came in.</p><p></p><p>I started rolling with guys society frowned at. </p><p>I just started rolling generally; rolling around the rollercoaster life set for me. </p><p>And you know what they say: “Only dead fish go with the flow.” </p><p>Maybe I was trying to be just like him.</p><p></p><p>I just imagine how his parents are taking it. </p><p>Our families don’t talk like they used to. </p><p>How do you start a conversation after that? </p><p>“I’m sorry your son was stabbed and shot multiple times because he was out partying late with our daughter.” </p><p>It doesn’t sound right, does it? </p><p>Does it?!!</p><p></p><p>I’m sorry for shouting. You know how it goes. </p><p>Well, I guess you don’t.</p><p></p><p>“You lose the ones you love.” I guess that’s what life was trying to write on the wall. </p><p>It did it in caps, in large fonts too. </p><p>What a cunt.</p><p></p><p>But what’s the point of all this? You get born. </p><p>A few months in, you start to crawl, then walk. </p><p>You get your balance and you start to run. </p><p>You start school, you make friends, and maybe you meet your crush.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, he doesn’t like you back. </p><p>But mine did. I was lucky enough to be liked by my first. </p><p>Long story short, he cheated and left with Her. </p><p>Tell me, what did She have that I didn’t? </p><p>A prettier face or prettier eyes? </p><p>A better personality than I’d ever have? </p><p>Tell me!!!</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for shouting again, it's just... My world's caving in. </p><p>These past few years haven't been it. </p><p>I mean, it's darker than it's ever been. </p><p>Colder than it's ever been. </p><p>Life's just falling down on me, like it's the summer rain. </p><p>Who to blame? Wrong question. </p><p>Rather, what to blame? </p><p></p><p>I just want to get better. </p><p>"Get better, are you sick?" </p><p>Yes, I am sick and I'm tired of this... </p><p>Put your eggs in one basket, only for life to put holes in it. </p><p>I walk into a room, it goes quiet. I'm tired of acting like the silence isn't deafening. </p><p>I'm sick of life putting me in cuffs like it's arresting me. </p><p>Please let me free, let me be! </p><p></p><p>I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the beast the rest of the world sees. </p><p>I can't feign blindness anymore; it's getting visible, even the blind can all see it. </p><p>I can't. I'm just... sick and tired.</p><p></p><p></p>