There's this sound I came across on TikTok from XOXO Cinderella that goes:

"Ah, but how much more pain are you willing to endure, my loveeeee?"

"It is high time you pick yourself, my loveee".

And honestly, at some point, you have to ask yourself that question.

How much more are you willing to tolerate? How many more times will you convince yourself to be understanding? How long will you keep making excuses for things that continuously hurt you?

 How many times will you have to feel uncomfortable before you finally admit that enough is enough?

My love, it is high time you picked yourself.

There comes a point in life when something just switches. You start looking at certain situations differently. 

Things you once found excuses for suddenly become things you can no longer accommodate. You stop negotiating your peace just to keep things the way they are.

Perhaps it's frontal lobe development. Perhaps it's experience. Perhaps you've simply had enough. Whatever it is, something finally clicks.

You realise that choosing yourself isn't always going to look pretty. Sometimes, it's selfish. And yes, BE SELFISH.

Be selfish with your time. Be selfish with your peace. Be selfish about the kind of treatment you accept. Stop making yourself endlessly available to people and situations that wouldn't inconvenience themselves for you.

You deserve to be properly treated. Properly appreciated. Properly loved. You deserve friendships where you don't have to question your place, opportunities where you don't have to beg to be recognised, and environments where you aren't constantly made to feel like you're asking for too much.

You should never have to live at the mercy of someone else's mood, attention, approval or availability.

Being wanted is not a privilege. Being respected is not a special favour. And basic human decency is certainly not a luxury package that only a lucky few get to enjoy.

 Pick yourself, you're loved at home, you hear?

There is a whole world outside that one person, that one friendship, that one opportunity, that one place you've convinced yourself you cannot do without.

Life is much bigger than the things you're desperately holding on to.

But here's the thing: picking yourself sounds simple. It sounds easy when you read it in an article, hear it in a podcast or watch someone confidently talk about it on TikTok. Actually doing it, however, is an entirely different conversation.

Sometimes, you know you deserve better, but you're still attached to what you're familiar with. Sometimes, you know it's time to walk away, but a part of you keeps hoping things will change. Sometimes, choosing yourself means disappointing people you've spent so much time trying to please.

And sometimes, it means starting all over again when you genuinely thought you'd be further ahead by now.

That's the difficult part.

Picking yourself doesn't mean you suddenly stop caring about people. It doesn't mean you become difficult, inconsiderate or incapable of compromise. It simply means you understand that you are also someone worth considering.

You can be kind without allowing yourself to be taken for granted. You can be forgiving without giving people unlimited access to you. You can love something and still recognise that it isn't good for you.

You can be grateful for what something once meant to you without insisting that it must remain part of your life forever.

And no, you don't have to wait until you're completely exhausted, disappointed or emotionally drained before you decide that something isn't working for you.

Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is leave room for something better by finally letting go of what isn't serving you.

So, if you've been waiting for a sign, perhaps this is it.

Pick yourself, my love.

Pick yourself when staying is easier. Pick yourself when saying no feels uncomfortable. Pick yourself when you have to start all over again. Pick yourself even when nobody understands why you've made that decision.

You have spent enough time trying to make everything and everyone else work.

It's time you made room for yourself, too.

And if you ever need a reminder, come back and read this again.

You are not asking for too much by wanting a life in which you feel valued, respected, considered and at peace.

Now, I'd really love to hear from you:

What's one thing you've finally decided you're no longer willing to tolerate?

Let's talk. ❤️

Till my next insight, ciao 😗