Dear Mr. Smith,

Good afternoon, sir. I hope this letter meets you well.

I write to profusely express my gratitude for the incredibly generous compensation I received for my recent efforts. I was truly moved to discover that my back-breaking, neck-wriggling, brain-stretching labour was worth the magnificent sum of ₦2,000.

Sir, ₦2,000.

I honestly did not know whether to spend it, frame it, or simply stare at it for a few minutes and reflect on the meaning of life.

Who could have envisaged that one act of compensation would inspire such deep personal reflection? I have spent considerable time thinking about my future, my career, and the economic value of my labour. I have also wondered whether perhaps I have misunderstood the concept of employment entirely.

The experience has been humbling.

It has taught me that no matter how much effort you put into a task, there is always the possibility that your employer will remind you that effort and remuneration are two completely unrelated concepts.

And for that, sir, I am grateful.

However, after much reflection, I would like to make a small and very reasonable request. In the spirit of fairness, sustainability, and my continued ability to afford basic human necessities, I humbly request that future compensation be slightly more reflective of the work being done.

I am not asking for a private jet. I am not requesting a company car. I am not even asking for an office with a view.

I am simply asking that when I break my back, my pay should not merely pat it on the head.

I believe there is a beautiful middle ground between “thank you for your efforts” and “here is ₦2,000, please continue.” I would be most grateful if we could locate that middle ground.

I remain committed to doing excellent work, meeting expectations, and giving my best. I would, however, love for my best to receive compensation that does not make me question whether I accidentally volunteered.

Thank you once again for your generosity. I sincerely hope that my next payment will be sufficiently improved to prevent me from having to write another letter this emotionally demanding.

Yours in gratitude,

Star Girl.