Stop Bringing The Bitterness of Yesterday Into Their Today.

Why is it that our parents like bringing their past into our present?Why do they make us feel guilty of wanting or needing, sometimes?Why do they act as if we've done them wrong by choosing to them, sometimes? I'm not saying they shouldn't talk about their past. But why would you bring the bitterness of yesterday into the present of a two-, three-, or four-year-old child? You give your child rice, and they say, "Mummy, I want Golden Morn, I don't want rice." You can simply tell them, "This is what I have for now. If I can get what you want later, I will." You don't have to say, "When I was your age, my mother couldn't even afford rice for us. We ate gari, pap, or drank water and went to bed. I didn't have the right to complain." You give your child a lantern to do his homework and he say, "Mummy, may I get a brighter light, please?"You can simply make him understand that that's what you have available and try to make it more convenient for him, instead of lashing out the story about how you normally uses thunder flash or sun light to get your assignment done. Please, we can do better.Seriously, we can.You do not have to make your child feel guilty for wanting something you couldn't afford when you were their age. Sometimes, I see parents scolding two- or three-year-old children with words like, "When I was your age, I was already doing this and that." Seriously? Why? They are children. They cannot fully understand the struggles you experienced years ago. But when you keep telling them these things, they may grow up believing that struggle is something that must be passed down. They may begin to think that because you suffered, they must suffer too. And when they have children of their own, they may feel the need to pass that same mindset down. No. It shouldn't be like that. I'm not saying you shouldn't let your children know about your past. I'm saying, let them grow up first. Let them learn to differentiate between struggle and luxury. Stop making them see struggle as luxury.Stop making them feel like they're asking for too much simply because you couldn't afford it back then. A child asking for Golden Morn instead of rice is not asking for too much. They are simply expressing what they want. And when you tell a child to "shut up," you're not just asking them to be quiet. You're shutting them down. We can correct children without making them feel small. We can manage our language around them. We can do better. Something like this happened this morning, and honestly, I'm upset. Because why should a child's present be defined by the bitterness of a parent's past? If you've experienced this, or you are still experiencing it, I want you to know this:The bitterness and struggles of yesterday should not determine the standard you set for yourself today. When someone gives you the bare minimum, you have the right to express what you want. You can accept what is available when necessary, but that doesn't mean you must always settle for less. And yes, this isn't about food alone. We don't need to inherit scarcity to learn appreciation.

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