I was doomscrolling yesterday.

I hardly do that, but for some reason, I chose that and started scrolling.

And I noticed something.

Especially on TikTok.

Almost every swipe was another video of either a man attacking women or a woman attacking men.

I swipe and see:

“As a woman, you shouldn't...”

Blah blah blah.

I swipe away out of irritation and get another one:

“As a man, you should...”

Blah blah blah.

Everyone is suddenly wise and full of life lessons.

Everyone has something to say about what men should do, what women shouldn't do, how men behave, how women behave, what you should tolerate, what you shouldn't tolerate.

They set up their phone, put it on a tripod and proceed to tell the entire gender how to live.

How did we get here??!!

And the funny thing is, most of what they're saying falls into two categories:

It's either absolute rubbish...

Or it's actually good advice that applies to every human being, but somehow they have decided to attach a gender to it.

The one that really pissed me off was a video I watched about a man who said he cried recently because he lost his best friend.

He said that whenever he remembers him, he still tears up.

Apparently, a woman had mocked him for crying.

That's obviously wrong.

I don't support that either.

But then the video switched into this whole conversation about how a woman should never exploit a man's weakness, especially because men don't open up easily.

That if a man opens up to you, it's because he trusts you, so you should never use that vulnerability against him.

Very good advice.

But why “a man's weakness”?

Why not:

Never exploit another person's weakness.

That's just basic human decency.

Why are we making it sound like it's specifically a man's weakness that shouldn't be exploited?

And I see this everywhere.

A woman does something terrible and suddenly it's:

“Women are like this.” “That's how they behave.”

A man does something terrible and suddenly:

“Men will always do this.” “That's how they behave.”

No.

Call a spade a spade.

If someone is being terrible, say that person is terrible.

Stop dragging an entire gender into somebody else's nonsense.

I saw another video of a woman talking about all the things women shouldn't do because “a man will take advantage of you.”

Hello?

It's not just men.

Some things are simply things you shouldn't do because another human being can take advantage of you.

Can we stop tagging everything?😭

And then you have women-haters hiding under the canopy of feminism, saying absolute garbage about how women should behave.

Imagine I'm in a relationship and you're the one on TikTok telling me what I should and shouldn't do with my man.

Very funny.

I will do every mumu thing under the sun with my man if I want to.😭

If it means he might take advantage of me, that's a risk I have decided to take.

Leave it ooo.

It's my business.

The same thing goes for men.

You'll see people pouring out advice about what a man should never do with his babe, what he shouldn't give her, how much he should trust her, how he shouldn't be too vulnerable...

And before you know it, people who are genuinely in love are now walking on eggshells around each other because of something they watched online.

Haba!

There was another video that made me close the app completely.

This one was basically saying:

If you came into this life as a man, life has already beaten you 1–0.

If you don't have money, 2–0.

Then grind, hustle, blah blah blah.

And I'm sitting there thinking...

So me that came as a woman, I won life 1–0?😭

Guyyyy

It's man and woman that God cursed, Incase you've forgotten

Everybody has their own share of shege.

Don't make it sound like men have it harder.

Or women have it harder.

Life doesn't work that neatly.

Different people experience different struggles, and sometimes the person standing next to you is fighting a battle you know absolutely nothing about.

I was even having an argument about this with someone and they hit me with:

“You're a woman. You can't understand.”

Y'all are so weird.

So weird.😭

We've somehow managed to turn almost every human experience into another episode of Men vs Women.

Someone behaves badly?

Gender.

Who suffers the most?

Gender

Someone gets hurt?

Gender.

Someone gives terrible relationship advice?

Gender.

Someone makes a stupid decision?

Gender.

Why?

Some of these things are simply wrong because they're wrong.

They don't suddenly become right or wrong depending on whether a man or woman did them.

If a person hurts you, deal with the person.

Don't immediately turn their behaviour into a personality trait for an entire gender.

And personally, I hate this whole thing with perfect hatred.

I don't even hide it.

Because social media has created this weird environment where everyone is constantly being taught to look at the opposite gender with suspicion.

You start entering relationships already armed with a list of things your partner is probably going to do to you.

You're told not to trust too much.

Don't give too much.

Don't love too much.

Don't be vulnerable.

Don't spend too much on her.

Don't depend on him.

Don't do this.

Don't do that.

And somehow we're surprised that people are struggling to build genuine relationships.

In summary:

Be careful who you listen to.

Not every information is useful information.

And not everyone with a phone, followers and a microphone actually has sense.

Yes, even that your favourite celebrity.😏

If you're looking for a solid foundation for how to live, love, treat people and conduct yourself, go back to your Bible!

And please, let's stop being so quick to attack an entire gender whenever an individual does something wrong.

Be conscious of it.

Because the social media world is constantly feeding you narratives, and if you're not careful, you'll start seeing people through the lens it gave you.

And lastly...

If you're in love, spoil your partner.

With love, care, resources and whatever you genuinely want to give.

Don't let social media convince you that loving someone deeply makes you stupid.

It doesn't.

God created male and female for a reason.

Don't scatter what Oyigiyigi created.😏

If you have a second opinion...

Argue with me in the comments.😌