THE PRESSURE TO HAVE YOUR LIFE FIGURED OUT BEFORE 30

There is something about being a woman in your twenties that makes people suddenly very interested in your life. They want to know what you're doing. How much you're earning. If you're dating. When you're getting married. Whether you have a house. Whether you're building a business. And if you say you're still figuring things out, they look at you like you just confessed to having no plan at all. Sometimes I think we put so much pressure on women to have everything figured out before 30. As if 30 is some kind of deadline. As if the moment you turn 30, someone is going to knock on your door and say, “Madam, your time is up. What exactly have you achieved?” I've felt that pressure too. I'm in my twenties and there are still so many things I want to do with my life. I want to grow as a writer. I want to build businesses. I want financial freedom. I want to travel. I want to experience love. I want to get married someday. I want to make my family proud. Sometimes I look at everything I want and think, “God, am I supposed to accomplish all of this before 30?” Because somehow, it feels like everyone else is moving faster. You see a woman your age getting married. Another one has bought a house. Someone has started a successful business. Someone else is travelling every other month. Another person is already making serious money. And you're there trying to figure out what you're doing with your own life. Social media doesn't help either. You open Instagram for five minutes and suddenly you're questioning every decision you've made since birth. But the older I get, the more I realise that I don't actually know what is happening in most people's lives. I only know what they choose to show me. And I don't want to keep measuring my life against the parts of other people's lives that I can see. Because my journey is mine. There are things I thought I would have achieved by now that I haven't. There are things I never expected to do that I'm proud of. There are dreams I had when I was younger that have changed completely. And honestly, I'm learning to be okay with that. I don't want to get to 30 and realise that I spent my twenties desperately trying to prove that I was doing well. I want to actually live. I want to make mistakes without feeling like every mistake means I'm behind. I want to change my mind. I want to start something small and watch it grow. I want to try things that scare me. I want to fall in love when the right person comes along, not because I'm panicking about a birthday. And if I'm being completely honest, I don't want to marry someone just because I'm approaching 30 and everybody has started asking questions. I want to be sure, I want to choose a life because it feels right for me, not because I'm afraid of being late. Maybe that's the part we don't talk about enough. Sometimes the pressure isn't even coming from other people. Sometimes it's coming from us. We have this picture in our heads of who we thought we'd become by a certain age, and when reality doesn't look like that picture, we start feeling like we've failed. But life doesn't always follow the timeline we created at 22. Sometimes you need more time, Sometimes you have to start again. Sometimes you discover what you actually want after spending years thinking you wanted something else. And I don't think that makes a woman behind.I think it makes her human, So yes, I'm in my twenties and I'm still figuring things out... Honestly I don't have every answer And I don't know exactly where I'll be at 30. And for the first time, I'm starting to realise that I don't need to, I just want to keep becoming. And if I turn 30 and I'm still figuring some things out? Well...I guess I'll still be figuring them out. Because apparently, there is no magical age where life suddenly makes perfect sense.And honestly, I'm relieved. So to every woman in her twenties who feels like she's running out of time: Breathe...Your life is not a race; And 30 is not the finish line.

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