WHY DO WE MISS PEOPLE WHO WERE BAD TO US?

There is something very confusing about missing someone who wasn't good for you.Because how can you know someone hurt you, know the relationship wasn't healthy, know you cried because of them, and still find yourself thinking about them sometimes?Human beings are honestly confusing. You can be completely aware that someone was bad for you and still miss them.You might even be the one who said, “I'm done. I can't do this anymore.”And then three weeks later, you're listening to a song and suddenly remembering the way they used to laugh.Please, who sent us? I think one of the reasons we miss people who hurt us is because the relationship wasn't bad every single day.There were good moments too.There were conversations that made you laugh until your stomach hurt. There were days when you felt loved. There were little things they did that you still remember.And when the relationship ends, your mind doesn't always remember the pain first.Sometimes it remembers the good parts.The version of them you fell in love with.The person they were when things were still beautiful.And that's where it gets difficult.Because you can miss someone without wanting them back.I think that's something people don't talk about enough.Missing someone doesn't automatically mean you made the wrong decision by leaving.It doesn't mean they were secretly your soulmate.It doesn't mean you should text them at 1 a.m. because you suddenly remembered that one time they said something sweet to you. Sometimes you just miss what the relationship meant to you.You miss having someone to talk to.You miss being someone's person.You miss the routine.You miss who you were when you were in love.And sometimes, if we're being honest, you miss the hope.The hope that things would eventually become what you wanted them to be.That they would change.That they would finally love you the way you needed to be loved.That the relationship would somehow become the beautiful thing you imagined when you first started.That's a painful thing to let go of.Because sometimes you're not just grieving a person.You're grieving the future you imagined with them.I have also realised that we sometimes remember people through the best version of them.We forget the nights we cried.We forget the conversations that left us feeling small.We forget how many times we questioned whether we were enough.And then we remember their smile.Their voice.The silly things they used to say.And suddenly you're wondering if maybe it wasn't that bad.But it was.You just don't feel the pain in the same way anymore.Time has a funny way of softening memories.And I think that's why we have to be careful when nostalgia starts talking.Because nostalgia can make almost anything look beautiful.Even things we once begged God to help us escape.So if you ever find yourself missing someone who wasn't good for you, I don't think you need to feel ashamed.You're human.You loved them.Of course some part of you remembers them.But remember the whole story.Not just the parts that make you smile.Remember why you had to leave.Remember what it cost you to stay.And most importantly, remember that missing someone is not the same thing as needing them.You can miss someone and still choose yourself.You can remember the good without pretending the bad never happened.You can love someone from a distance and still know that they don't belong in your life anymore.Maybe healing isn't about completely forgetting people.Maybe sometimes it's simply reaching the point where you can remember them without wanting to go back.And honestly, I think that's a beautiful kind of freedom.Because one day, you'll remember them and it won't hurt the same way.You'll just smile and think,“Wow. I really loved that person.”And then you'll keep living.Because sometimes the person you miss isn't the person you need.And learning the difference can save you from going back to a place you worked so hard to leave.

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