What it takes to be Man - by Enamene Bella

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A MAN I often hear people say to boys and toddlers, "Be a man." The essence of that phrase is not just a casual statement, though it is often said casually. It emphasizes the need for maturity. A man is not just a gender; he is a responsible being created by the Creator. There is a lot of peculiarity about being a man. It is not just a name, but an embedded responsibility that is attached to that phrase, "Be a man." I have observed and learned over the years that as commonly as this phrase is uttered, so great is the gravity and essence of a man's duty. An infantile idea of a man is that he simply grows from being a boy to becoming literate, employed, married, and life goes on. That is just a preamble to the essence of being a man. There is more! Today, we are going to dive in to learn not only what it takes to be a man but also the essence, the gravity, of being a man. We all know that man was the first human to be created before woman. Before woman was created, man was expected to become accustomed to his environment and its systems. There is no doubt about this. Having understood how everything operates within this system gives him an upper hand. Knowledge is key. Even when some women fail to do this, a man will always study his environment. He ensures that he knows it inside out, down to every single detail. A man who pays attention to what goes on around him and understands how things work is bound to succeed in his endeavours. As a matter of fact, a man is emotionally mature and a natural burden bearer. While women may become overwhelmed by seemingly minor situations, a man carries the weight of his entire family on his shoulders. Imagine a fellow human being like you, carrying such huge responsibility, yet remaining emotionally stable. That means a lot. What makes a man a burden bearer? The title alone is frightening. What does it mean for everyone in the family to look up to you — even the unborn child yet to come? It means you must take care of and meet the needs of every member, providing at least their basic amenities. Your choices and decisions begin to shape someone else's destiny. The way you live can determine the future of your entire family.I remembered my own father. He came back from work late in Abuja traffic, tired, yet he still say to ask if we had all eaten. He never complained. That day I understood what it means to be a man.Every day, everybody demands something from you. You must ensure that you live up to their expectations, no matter how hard it may be. Self-denial is not just the absence of pleasure; it becomes a priority when a man matures. A future-driven man is not a man who does not know his needs from his wants. He focuses on the future much more than on the present, and this often leads him to self-denial. The purpose of self-denial is not suffering, but great ambition. Though at times women want to spend and children want to belong and enjoy money, a wise man knows that those desires can be detrimental. Thus, he plans ahead to prevent a poor future outcome. Have you ever wondered what it means to be security? A man, as the head of the family, serves as a security guard for his household. I do not mean that he stays awake all night to protect his family. No. I mean that his very presence as the head serves as a form of security. A woman who still has her husband feels more secure than a woman who does not have one or has lost hers. There are scenarios where a man's presence makes things fare better. For instance, before a man sleeps, he goes around to check the house and ensures that the doors, gates, and burglar-proof bars are locked. He may have feelings and be hurt by people, even by his beloved wife, but hardly — barely have I ever seen a man cry over minor issues. If you ever hear that a man has cried, it is usually because someone very close to him has died or a loved one is in serious pain. It is often a matter of life and death. They face challenges head-on, with confidence and hope for a better result. Past experiences have built them emotionally. They have learned to be strong and cautious because they constantly ask themselves, "If I cry over small issues, what will become of my family?" This confidential, emotional question keeps many men in check and helps them build emotional stamina. There is a lot to learn about what it takes to be a man. Every day, the gravity of becoming a man unfolds through experience and understanding. Sometimes, the little things you think do not count actually count a lot. Set aside time to celebrate the men in your life — whether it is your father, uncle, or brother who has contributed to your life. They have made many sacrifices for you, both seen and unseen. Write them a letter of appreciation. Show them love. Remember, someday you will also be a father, a brother, and an uncle to someone. Your response to them matters, and it counts more than you know.

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