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34
Ochanya James
Student. @ Prince Abubakar Audu University
Student. @ Prince Abubakar Audu University
When did skin colour become a marriage criterion?
<p>“Why would a dark-skinned woman marry a dark-skinned man?” my colleague at work asked as she pointed at a woman who sells car parts close to my workplace.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I don’t understand,” I replied.</p><p><br/></p><p>“She’s black, so she’s supposed to marry a man who is fairer than her. If a black person marries another black person, they’ll give birth to black children,” she said.</p><p><br/></p><p>“What kind of nonsense is that?” I asked angrily.</p><p><br/></p><p>As a dark-skinned person, I felt belittled. Her words struck deeper than she probably realised. I wanted to say more, but I was suddenly lost for words.</p><p><br/></p><p>I thought genotype, STIs, compatibility, character, and red flags were some of the things people considered before deciding whether to marry someone. When did skin colour become part of the criteria?</p><p><br/></p><p>I understand if someone has a personal preference for a particular skin tone. My colleague is light-skinned and if she wants her children to be light-skinned like her, I can understand that preference, even if I don't share it. But why judge two people who looked beyond skin colour and chose to marry each other because they loved each other?</p><p><br/></p><p>Dark-skinned people shouldn’t marry dark-skinned people, but it’s perfectly fine for light-skinned people to marry light-skinned people?</p><p><br/></p><p>Why?</p><p><br/></p><p>What exactly is wrong with two dark-skinned people falling in love, getting married, and having dark-skinned children?</p><p><br/></p><p>I have promised myself that I will never hate anyone because of their skin colour. We are all human, and every shade is beautiful.</p><p><br/></p><p>But sometimes, I wonder how long it takes to unlearn the hatred society teaches you to have for yourself.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because every day, I wake up and hear another hateful comment about dark skin.</p><p><br/></p><p>And sometimes, those words make me look at my own reflection differently.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe the real problem isn't dark skin.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe the problem is that we have spent so long teaching people that one shade is more beautiful, more desirable, or more worthy than another that some people have started believing it themselves.</p><p><br/></p><p>Dark skin does not need to be escaped from.</p><p><br/></p><p>It needs to be respected.</p>
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