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152
When the mind curls inward-The Abyss
<p>I can’t catch any sleep.</p><p>My heart drifts into the deepest abyss of the mind—</p><p>the darkest part, the part no one ever sees,</p><p>the part that almost doesn’t exist,</p><p>because we all choose to ignore it—</p><p>perhaps because of the trauma it holds.</p><p><br/></p><p>I am tired, yet I cannot find rest.</p><p>I am broken, yet I cannot shed tears.</p><p>So I retreat—withdraw—</p><p>into the deepest corners of myself.</p><p><br/></p><p>The point where the mind curls inward,</p><p>a moment of reflection,</p><p>an intermission between confusion and realization.</p><p><br/></p><p>I can barely think—</p><p>not about life,</p><p>but about the shroud hanging over me.</p><p>Thoughts collide,</p><p>and the echoes in my mind grow louder, almost mocking.</p><p><br/></p><p>It feels like a veil, waiting to be lifted,</p><p>or a shackle, holding everything in place.</p><p><br/></p><p>The way I feel—I cannot fully explain.</p><p>What I can say is little.</p><p>What I can do is even less.</p><p>But what could happen… feels endless.</p><p><br/></p><p>The mind folds into itself.</p><p>My body remains, yet feels empty.</p><p>If this were drawn out,</p><p>you would see how carefully, how deliberately,</p><p>I try to live beneath this shroud.</p><p><br/></p><p>So what should I do?</p><p>Stay calm and trust that this, too, will pass?</p><p>Try to shake it off?</p><p>Ignore it completely, as though it isn’t there?</p><p><br/></p><p>And what is the purpose of all this?</p><p><br/></p><p>It doesn’t feel severe enough to name,</p><p>so I tell myself I can outrun it—</p><p>avoid the thoughts that come with it.</p><p><br/></p><p>But what kind of thoughts?</p><p><br/></p><p>The kind you already know.</p><p>Thoughts of ending it—of disappearing.</p><p><br/></p><p>I’ve been here before,</p><p>and I didn’t give in.</p><p><br/></p><p>But this feels different.</p><p>This time…</p><p>I can’t seem to shake it off.</p>
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113
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