as the figure moved closer I discovered it was him, as he called me, I turned towards him. 'Oh, I've forgotten'. I didn't even know if that is a lying anyways cause I had been anticipating this moment. I knew that he has been waiting all day long, swallowing his saliva in anticipation. I could almost see the words forming on his lips, but what I heard was something entirely different. Bro pushed me into another curiosity mode and a futuristic sleepless night, he said maybe we should wait till tomorrow to have our conversation. What did he use as excuse ?
The rain.
I was like 'damn the rain'.
'Bro just spill it out'. I thought.
I responded that we should go into conversation now but he insisted that tomorrow will be better because of the rain and he left.
The night before the 'tomorrow' was another sleepless one as I've anticipated, though this is not my first time wasting my night think about him. I wrestled with several thoughts of him for hours before finally allowing sleep to be my nanny.
The following day was a Saturday but we use to hold a sabbathical kind of service. The service usually start by 8:30am but I got to church around some minutes pass 9, as I was coming in directly from the door I saw my seat reserved for me and my man sitting waiting diligent for his bride. I was just wondering, how on earth is no one sitting there as always. I took my seat, I didn't even bother to greet as they are already in the midst of the service and I patiently sat down waiting for the service to end.
As I sat down, a lot of thoughts chose my mind as an arena for their race but I was still my nonchalant self all the same. At a time I left my seat and I sat at his back, not because of anything though, my little sister and brother were around the space too. He suddenly handed me his phone underhand, I was surprised because I wasn't expecting that in anyway.
Nah like this e dey start?😅
Na so I see epistle, that read thus
See as my heart dey beat😂
Okay, this is a little embarrassing because I'm actually doing something like this for the first time 😅, but I just wanted to be honest with you. I've realised that I've been crushing on you ( forgive me 🥹😊) for a while. I'm not looking for a relationship right now ( as children of God most importantly), so I'm not telling you this because I expect anything from you. I just thought saying it might help me stop keeping it all in my head ( omorrrr )😂. I'm sorry if this is annoying in anyway, I just have to do it this way because I might not be able to say it virtually.
There might be a better way to do this but this is all I've got🙂↕️
If there is anything you want to say, type it and let me have it. Thank you.
I was literally short of word and the same time lost in my world. I didn't even know what to write as response, I gave a very poor one that I'm still regretting till now...
Hmm,Okay O
But it is just ordinary friends
As u say (As a child of God)
...maybe you can explain to me what I meant, cause I didn't know the meaning of what I wrote. There is even a little modification now cause I didn't add that 'is' to the response I sent. I believed he will just be trying to find a meaning to that my seemingly 'Jargons'.
But within his epistle,I saw, or perhaps imagined, a man who had already surrendered me in his spirit, while his flesh was still speaking the language of love and longing.
I saw his flesh ready to kill his spirit and I wasn't even sure if the spirit is strong enough.
My wish for my Crush is that he conquers the flesh now and his spirit finds me when he is ready to be married. if God will.
What do we do with affection when affection arrives at the wrong time?
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