It's not a good day

At least not for me

Even with the imposter fled

Even with all the clarity

With all the certainty of self

A hollow has formed

Your words

They echo 

The stir dreadful eddies within me

I wish I could deny them

To say that they were not true

But even I will fail to be fooled 

I loved you

That at least was true

But perhaps I never tried to know you

Never tried to see you 

To study you like a book

Like you have studied all of my pages

You always said more

Felt more 

Gave more

I thought it meant you needed less from me

Your effort

Your consistency

It all seemed endless

Like a pool that never runs out

I failed to notice

When the consistency started to fade 

When "good" morning became occasional

When you began to grow absence

Absence of mind

Absence of heart 

Even while present in voice and body

I should have noticed sooner

That our exchange was far from equivalent 

That I had been receiving far more, offering far little

You said there was so much you want to say 

The truth is

You've already said everything 

It's just that

I wasn't there to listen 

Everything you handed to me

In trust

In faith

In love

Every word

Every whisper

I have them locked safely

Buried 

Hidden

I recognize them for what they are now

Treasures to be cherished

A realization perhaps too late

But nonetheless I shall hold to it

You said it'll be a good day

Just for you 

I hope it is

I just couldn't fathom 

That a time would come where I wouldn't be in it

— ابن عبد الله💫