He's Not Done. Chapter 2 - by Yahweh's Delight ✨❤️‍🔥

I can hear muffled noises coming from outside my bedroom door. I woke up not too long ago from a much-needed nap. Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I grab my phone from the nightstand and check the time. 6:35 p.m. Wow. I slept for eight straight hours.I can't even lie and say I don't feel refreshed. I feel like I could run a marathon.A movie marathon, actually. I'm definitely not the athletic type.I get out of bed and head straight for my luggage. There's a closet where I can hang my clothes and arrange my shoes too.... A few minutes later, all my clothes and shoes are neatly put away.I need a shower.I grab my toiletries and head for the bathroom. The moment I step out of my room, the voices become clearer and louder. My housemates are having a conversation, and they're pretty loud. I can literally hear everything they're saying. "He's so hot," a voice says, heavily emphasizing the word hot. "I heard he's a counselor," another voice adds. "He's the youngest counselor here," a different voice says. Hold on... how many people even live here?My curiosity is getting the best of me, but I really need that shower, so I head straight into the bathroom.It's nothing fancy, but it's not bad either. There's a bathtub, a shower, a mirror, and tiled walls. Beside the sink sits a toothbrush holder with two toothbrushes already inside it. I unzip my toiletry bag, take out my toothbrush and toothpaste, and place them neatly beside the others.... I'm on my way to the cafeteria. Dinner supposedly starts by seven.I glance down at my phone. 7:56 p.m. Dinner ends by eight.I immediately quicken my pace and finally arrive at the cafeteria building, which is much bigger than the others except for the church.Thank goodness the cafeteria isn't on the top floor. I grab a tray and head toward the pizza section. I pick up a slice of pepperoni pizza, a large donut covered in chocolate frosting and sprinkles, and finally, a bottle of Diet Coke. Almost all the seats are occupied.I step outside the cafeteria and spot an empty bench beside the building. Walking over to it, I sit down quietly.If Dad were still alive, maybe we'd have gone on our own camping trip. Or maybe we'd have visited my grandparents. Maybe he would've taken me on one of our father-daughter shopping sprees. If I hadn't dated Jordan, maybe I wouldn't even be here. Maybe I'd still be home doing whatever normal teenagers do during summer. Maybe we'd still be together, out on a date somewhere right now.If Mom hadn't found out about Zoey, maybe she would've let me stay home. Maybe she wouldn't look at me like I'm some kind of monster. Maybe we could've spent the summer bonding and actually become close. If God truly exists... then why am I going through all of this? Why does nobody understand me? Why did Dad have to leave? Why was I born into this family? Why am I still alive? If the drugs had killed me, then maybe I wouldn't still be trapped in this miserable world. Why, God? Why me? Do You even exist? "Hello, darling."A soft voice snaps me back to reality. I flinch and turn toward the owner of the voice.A woman in her late forties stands there, concern written all over her face.Only then do I realize I've been crying.Great. And I'm definitely not a pretty crier. "Mind if I sit here?" she asks, gesturing toward the bench."U-um... yeah, sure," I stutter, sliding over to make space while forcing myself to take a bite of my pizza. "Are you alright, dear?" she asks gently.I nod and quickly take a sip of my Diet Coke."Well, I've lived for forty-six years-and still counting by God's grace-and I can tell you right now that you are definitely not okay."She turns slightly to face me. "I'm fine. Just... I don't know. I should go," I mumble, standing up.I barely make it a few steps before she calls out again."You know you can't keep questioning God forever, right? He has a purpose for everything." She pauses briefly. "Oh, and by the way... wasting food isn't good."I turn around to look at her. "Then let Him prove He exists." And with that, I walk away before she can see me cry again.Who takes someone's life and calls it part of a purpose? I head back into the cafeteria and spot a trash can, tossing everything away except the Diet Coke. I've completely lost my appetite, and I can already feel bile rising in my throat. If I eat another bite, I'm definitely going to throw up.After returning the tray to the pile of dirty dishes, I head back to my room.... I reach the door and swipe my key card. The door swings open, revealing my housemates in the middle of what looks like a spa night.Face masks, nail polish, moisturizers, gua sha tools, and every skincare product imaginable are scattered across the floor. "Care to join us?" one of them asks. She's wearing a light pink bathrobe. "N-no thanks, I'm good," I reply awkwardly. "Oh, come on. It'll be fun. I'm May, by the way." She gestures toward the girl in the pink bathrobe. "And this is Lisa." "I'm Alice. Th-thanks for the offer, but I'm honestly ready to pass out for the night. Maybe some other time... if the offer still stands." "It definitely will," Lisa says with a smile.I nod politely before rushing off to my room. The moment the door closes behind me, I release a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.At least my housemates seem nice. You know you can't keep questioning God forever, right? He has a purpose for everything... Her words replay over and over in my mind. She's wrong. I can question God all I want-because He doesn't exist. If He did, He would've heard my prayers when Dad was sick. He would've healed him. If He existed, He would've made Mom love me instead of looking at me like some monster. He would've listened when I begged Him to let Jordan stay. He would've answered my prayers and taken away the nightmares. Tears stream down my face so heavily that I don't even care if my housemates hear me crying.I just want to let it all out. It's exhausting. Painfully exhausting. And every attempt I've made to escape this pain has failed. Maybe they were right. Maybe I really do deserve to suffer. Maybe I really don't deserve happiness.

He's Not Done 🤲🏽✨

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