Score |
95
Bellamine
Student @ Enugu State University of Science and Technology
Student @ Enugu State University of Science and Technology
HIS WORDS, NOT MINE
<p>I suffered from anxiety for a while. </p><p>I suffered from the “what if” syndrome for a while. </p><p>And I think it messed up my mind. </p><p>It’s shaped who I am, and I see it shaping the man I’m trying to become. </p><p>“Who’s the man you are trying to become?” </p><p>I don’t really know, but I know for a fact I don’t want to be a man who sees an opportunity and thinks it’s too good to be true because of the things he’s been through. </p><p>Or one who runs from responsibilities because he can’t handle it; I might as well be a Trans-in-transit. </p><p>Gays have responsibilities too? </p><p>Shit, nowhere to hide.</p><p></p><p>I became friends with the flames, so when my friends see smoke, they know it’s a false alarm, but this time the flames burned me to the ground. </p><p>They came to the house; my ashes were what they found. </p><p>I’m not speaking in literal terms, so relax. </p><p>I didn’t actually burn to the ground. </p><p>For some reason, my conscience keeps barking at me like a lost hound. </p><p>Maybe there’s something I need to confess, maybe not.</p><p></p><p>Here goes my confession: I looked at a rope and for the first time I had suicidal thoughts; maybe I did, maybe not. </p><p>Okay, I didn’t. </p><p>Okay, I did; for what it’s worth, it was a weak thought, not strong enough. </p><p>See, I don’t want you all to look at me differently. </p><p>I’m sure many of you think I need help; I don’t. </p><p>These are just thoughts I let escape my head. </p><p>If I didn’t let it escape, you’d think of me like every normal person out there, I think. </p><p>Well, these are His words, not mine. </p><p>Do with this whatever you will.</p><p></p><p><em>Breath in...</em></p><p><em>Breath out.</em></p>
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10
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