I was only nine years old 

I had barely learned life. 

But that wasn't the beginning of it 

I remember very well

The first time was years before 

I was five or so

My parents had to travel and leave me with aunty Dunsin 

Nobody knew anything 

Every time my dad would call , he would be the only one to speak with me. 

There was always one excuse or another why my mum couldn't come to the phone. 

They did return after a few months 

But my mother wasn't the same as I remembered 

She was different. 

Her eyes looked --- 

Different 

I couldn't quite explain it at the time. 

But now that I remember, she looked like she was recovering from something. 

Actually, she was. 

But the thing never quite left her. 

It came back some years later, when I was eight. 

This time it was worse

Or maybe it felt that way because unlike the first time, I watched it with my own eyes. 

At the beginning she tried to be strong 

To act like it didn't hurt 

But I saw it too clearly 

I might've been young ,but I wasn't stupid 

As time passed, she could barely leave her bed comfortably anymore. 

She couldn't leave the house either. 

I come from a middle class family. 

We weren't wealthy, but we weren't poor either. 

Anybody could easily tell I was well taken care of too. 

But during that time I had to grow up

Especially after aunty Dunsin left. 

She had her job and her own family to take care of. 

She wished she could have stayed for me , but we all knew that was impossible 

So it became just myself, my father and my ailing mother. 

I started carrying out errands alone. 

I would hear the neighbours whisper things about my mother

News had gotten to them that she was sick. 

It was through them that I found out what was wrong with my mother 

Why she lost colour 

Why she lost the brightness in her eyes and smile 

Why she slowly lost her favourite thing — her hair

Cancer

That's what they called it

I didn't know what it was at the time 

But I knew it was a terrible thing 

It was the reason I had to grow up too fast. 

Time passed

Even more 

One day at nine

I came home from school 

The doors were wide open 

My dad was sitting on the floor with tears in his eyes 

They were red 

Blood red 

Like he'd been crying for hours 

There were people in the inner room 

That's where maami had been since she got sick. 

I didn't understand 

Who were these people?

And why was my father sitting in a pool of tears 

He looked up at me 

And then he started crying again 

He cried even harder 

I was confused 

Was my presence causing him pain? 

I looked towards the room again and just as I walked towards the entrance, I saw a familiar face run towards me 

It was aunty Dunsin 

She grabbed me 

Wrapped me in her arms

Pressed me tightly against her chest. 

And just then 

The visitors walked out. 

There were five men, all carrying something 

Well , now I know it was someone. 

But at the time, I thought it was something. 

It was wrapped in white. 

From top to bottom and all around. 

Aunty Dunsin held me even tighter and turned my head away 

She kept saying she was sorry 

I asked what it was

What were they carrying that was so heavy?? 

Where were they taking it?

She finally looked at me 

She held my face

"That's your mommy. We lost your mommy. We lost her. She's gone" 

As she spoke, I heard my father scream loudly behind her. 

I've heard those words before 

In the movies we watch

Isn't that what they say when someone dies?

Maami couldn't be dead , though

I was so sure of it

I had just seen her before I walked in

She held me 

She said she was taking a walk

She waved at me 

She....

She was gone 

That wave?

That wasn't her 

That was her last goodbye 

I looked at the room one last time 

And it dawned on me

I was only nine years old 

I had barely learned life. 

But my mother....

Maami was gone. 

Note: this is just a story. My mother is alive and well and she will live long in Jesus name 😂😂😂