The other day, someone made a statement and said, "I want to be like you."

I smiled. Then I sighed.

I whispered within myself, If only you knew.

If only you knew how many times I've had to convince myself that things would eventually make sense. How many times I've had to choose between what I have and what I hope to have.

I once left two cents for two dollars.

I left a little something that was already putting something in my pocket for the possibility of something bigger. I thought I was making a brave decision. Perhaps I was. But here I am, back where I started, barely surviving, even less comfortable than I was before...Funny how the pursuit of more can sometimes leave you with less.

Nobody really prepares you for this part of your twenties. The uncertainty. The financial anxiety. The pressure to become something while you're still trying to figure out how to keep yourself afloat. Watching opportunities pass, making decisions with limited information and even more limited resources.

The world can be particularly cruel when you have no leverage. When all you have is your willingness to try, your little ideas, your abilities and a stubborn hope that something will eventually work.

Sometimes, you are not even asking for too much. You just want to breathe without calculating every single thing. You want to make a decision without wondering what it will cost you.

I just want to spend that 2k without feeling like I've made a terrible financial mistake. I want to buy something simply because I want it, not spend the next three days calculating what else that money could have done for me...You want to see your efforts translate into something tangible.

And yet, you keep pushing.

You return to things you once left. You start again. You try another way. You swallow your disappointment and pretend tomorrow doesn't scare you as much as today does.

I hope it gets better...Not just the money, but the weight of having to figure everything out. I hope we get to a point where our efforts finally meet opportunities, where we can afford to make mistakes without them costing us our entire stability.

And more than anything, I hope we never become so exhausted by the process that we lose the will to try again.

Because sometimes, all a twenty-something has is the courage to keep going, even when there is very little evidence that things will get better.

Otisuumiii🥺

Anyways, It feels good to be backkk

The Air sure does feel different.