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34
I'M SORRY GOD
<p>I sat quietly for a long time that night, staring at the same spot on the wall. I wanted to pray, but I didn't know where to start. Usually, I could find the right words. This time, every word felt too small.</p><p><br/></p><p>So I finally whispered, “God, I'm sorry.”</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't want to do it. I really didn't. I had tried to stop myself. I knew better. I even had moments when I could have walked away, but somehow, I still went ahead and did it.</p><p><br/></p><p>And now, I couldn't hide from myself.</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't want to call it a mistake because, if I was being honest, I knew what I was doing. I couldn't dress it up with excuses or blame everything around me. I made the choice, and I had to be honest about that.</p><p><br/></p><p>“I'm not going to make excuses, God,” I whispered, my voice shaking. “I did it. I knew I shouldn't have. And I'm sorry.”</p><p><br/></p><p>The silence that followed felt heavy.</p><p><br/></p><p>For a moment, I wondered if God was disappointed in me. Maybe I had disappointed Him too many times. Maybe I had crossed a line I couldn't come back from.</p><p><br/></p><p>But as I sat there with tears in my eyes, something inside me softened.</p><p><br/></p><p>I remembered that coming to God was never about pretending I had everything together. It was about coming as I was.</p><p><br/></p><p>Broken. Ashamed. Honest.</p><p><br/></p><p>So I stayed there.</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't try to make myself look better than I was. I simply told Him the truth.</p><p><br/></p><p>“God, I don't know how to fix what I did. But I'm sorry. Please help me become someone who won't keep choosing the things that hurt You and hurt me.”</p><p><br/></p><p>And for the first time that night, I breathed a little easier.</p><p><br/></p><p>I didn't have all the answers.</p><p><br/></p><p>I just knew I had finally stopped running from God and started running back to Him. </p><p><br/></p><p>~Betty Liss</p>
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