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70
Crucible
Lead Architect @ Enigmaking
Lead Architect @ Enigmaking
Layered Onions
<p>Have you ever peeled an onion before? Sometimes you cry, sometimes you're able to go through the bulb alright.</p><p>The inspiration behind this is a post by Aeran, titled "Sheep in sheep clothing", a beautiful heading. As I read through her work, it left me thinking about people who say they want friends, loved ones to be close to them, and at the first sight of them, they wall up, become unreachable, or out of touch. In her analogy, at the baseline there's the sheep, and the sheep behaves more sheepish, shying away from the connection it seeks, due to what she calls an insecure instinct.</p><p>I chewed on that, and it made sense. Have you heard the phrase once bitten, twice shy? Most of us carry unresolved wounds, and they get triggered under the right conditions, so while we're telling a friend "sure, I'd be available later for a hangout," deep within us we're saying please don't call me, because I won't come.</p><p>That's not mischief. That's not even a decision. It's a reflex, the same one that pulls your hand back from a stove before your brain finishes registering the heat. Somewhere along the line, closeness got filed under danger, and the body doesn't wait for the mind to argue the case. It just closes the door.</p><p>But here's where I'd peel the onion further than she did. This instinct doesn't wear one face. Sometimes it shows up quiet, you go unreachable, you let calls ring out, you become the friend nobody can pin down. Other times it shows up loud, you find yourself needing reassurance, testing whether they'll still come looking, distancing just enough to see if they'll close the gap themselves. Different behavior, same root. One layer cries when you peel it, the other doesn't, but you're still holding the same onion.</p><p>The deeper question, the one her piece never quite got to, isn't why we do it. It's why we so rarely know which version of it we're doing while we're doing it. The reflex moves faster than the mind that could name it, and in the moment the behaviour almost always feels justified, like the only sensible thing to do. That opacity is part of how the onion is built. One layer makes you cry, the other doesn't, but either way you're still holding the same thing, and most of the time you don't even realise which layer you're peeling.</p>
145
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Crucible
Port Harcourt, Nigeria
Port Harcourt, Nigeria
Crucible
Port Harcourt, Nigeria
Port Harcourt, Nigeria
Crucible
Port Harcourt, Nigeria
Port Harcourt, Nigeria
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