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Ruthdaprotagonist
Executive Assistant | CRM Specialist | AI Automation | Customer Support/Success Specialist @ Freelancer
Executive Assistant | CRM Specialist | AI Automation | Customer Support/Success Specialist @ Freelancer
MUM HEARD THAT 😂
<p>I genuinely want to know how Nigerian mothers do it.</p><p>Because my mother can be in her room, watching TV, and somehow knows that I just opened the fridge.</p><p>I remember one night, I was hungry.</p><p>It was late, everybody was asleep, and I decided to sneak into the kitchen.</p><p>I opened my door quietly.</p><p>No sound.</p><p>I walked down the passage.</p><p>Still nothing.</p><p>I got to the kitchen and opened the fridge as gently as possible.</p><p>Then from her room:</p><p>“Who opened that fridge?”</p><p>I froze.</p><p>I hadn't even taken anything out yet.</p><p>I just stood there wondering if she had CCTV installed in the kitchen.</p><p>And this isn't even the only one.</p><p>Sometimes I open a nylon bag and immediately hear:</p><p>“What are you looking for?”</p><p>How?</p><p>I haven't even found what I'm looking for myself.</p><p>Another time, I was on the phone late at night, speaking so quietly that even I could barely hear myself.</p><p>Then:</p><p>“Who are you talking to?”</p><p>At that point, I just said:</p><p>“Nobody.”</p><p>She replied:</p><p>“Nobody is talking to you at this time?” 😂</p><p>That's when I knew I was finished.</p><p>There are also those mornings when I try to leave the house quietly.</p><p>I open the door gently.</p><p>I don't drag my slippers.</p><p>I don't cough.</p><p>I don't breathe too loudly.</p><p>Then from inside:</p><p>“Where are you going?”</p><p>I don't even understand it.</p><p>Mum, how did you know I was leaving?</p><p>Sometimes I think Nigerian mothers don't actually sleep.</p><p>They just lie down and monitor the house with their eyes closed.</p><p>They can hear the fridge.</p><p>The kettle.</p><p>A spoon falling in the kitchen.</p><p>A door opening.</p><p>A nylon bag.</p><p>A phone vibrating.</p><p>And somehow, they can identify which child made the noise.</p><p>But the funniest one is when you're trying to eat something you were specifically told not to touch.</p><p>You enter the kitchen.</p><p>You check everywhere.</p><p>You make sure she's nowhere around.</p><p>You take one biscuit.</p><p>Just one.</p><p>Then you hear:</p><p>“John!”</p><p>😂</p><p>At that point, the biscuit loses its taste.</p><p>You haven't even answered yet; well, she knows.</p><p>I don't know if this is a Nigerian mother thing or a mother thing in general.</p><p>But I'm convinced Nigerian mothers have a special kind of hearing.</p><p>Because sometimes...</p><p>They don't need to see you.</p><p>They already know.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p>
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