I genuinely want to know how Nigerian mothers do it.

Because my mother can be in her room, watching TV, and somehow knows that I just opened the fridge.

I remember one night, I was hungry.

It was late, everybody was asleep, and I decided to sneak into the kitchen.

I opened my door quietly.

No sound.

I walked down the passage.

Still nothing.

I got to the kitchen and opened the fridge as gently as possible.

Then from her room:

“Who opened that fridge?”

I froze.

I hadn't even taken anything out yet.

I just stood there wondering if she had CCTV installed in the kitchen.

And this isn't even the only one.

Sometimes I open a nylon bag and immediately hear:

“What are you looking for?”

How?

I haven't even found what I'm looking for myself.

Another time, I was on the phone late at night, speaking so quietly that even I could barely hear myself.

Then:

“Who are you talking to?”

At that point, I just said:

“Nobody.”

She replied:

“Nobody is talking to you at this time?” 😂

That's when I knew I was finished.

There are also those mornings when I try to leave the house quietly.

I open the door gently.

I don't drag my slippers.

I don't cough.

I don't breathe too loudly.

Then from inside:

“Where are you going?”

I don't even understand it.

Mum, how did you know I was leaving?

Sometimes I think Nigerian mothers don't actually sleep.

They just lie down and monitor the house with their eyes closed.

They can hear the fridge.

The kettle.

A spoon falling in the kitchen.

A door opening.

A nylon bag.

A phone vibrating.

And somehow, they can identify which child made the noise.

But the funniest one is when you're trying to eat something you were specifically told not to touch.

You enter the kitchen.

You check everywhere.

You make sure she's nowhere around.

You take one biscuit.

Just one.

Then you hear:

“John!”

😂

At that point, the biscuit loses its taste.

You haven't even answered yet; well, she knows.

I don't know if this is a Nigerian mother thing or a mother thing in general.

But I'm convinced Nigerian mothers have a special kind of hearing.

Because sometimes...

They don't need to see you.

They already know.