A country should not have to beg its citizens to stay. It should give them reasons to want to stay.

But what happens when those reasons are no longer enough?

Every October 1st, we remember that Nigeria became independent. 

We change our profile pictures, wear green and white, post the flag, say “Happy Independence Day”, and talk about how much we love our country.

But sometimes I wonder what exactly we mean when we say we love Nigeria.

Is loving Nigeria enough reason to stay?

Or must I remain in a country that makes life unnecessarily difficult just to prove that I am patriotic?

I have heard the argument many times: If everybody leaves, who will fix Nigeria?

It is a good question.

But I also think there is another question we don't ask enough.

Why should an individual be expected to sacrifice their entire future for a system that has failed him many times?

Don't you think it's almost unfair to tell a young Nigerian to stay because “we need people like you to build the country” when that same young person cannot find reliable electricity, a good job, affordable healthcare, better transportation, quality education, or even the assurance that their hard work will yield good results?

Sometimes, leaving is simply survival.

Sometimes, it is ambition.

Sometimes, it is the desire to know what life feels like when basic needs are met.

And sometimes, it is just wanting to breathe without thinking of the pressure of bills.

But I don't think leaving automatically means you have stopped caring about Nigeria.

A Nigerian who Japa does not suddenly stop being Nigerian. 

They may still send money home. 

They may support their families.

 They may employ people back home.

 They may invest in businesses. 

They may return with knowledge, good networks and resources. 

They may contribute to Nigeria in ways that may not have been possible if they had remained.

So perhaps patriotism should not be measured solely by Japaing or not.

You can leave Nigeria and still love Nigeria.

You can stay in Nigeria and still do very little for Nigeria.

Still, I don't want to fully kiss up to japa either.

There is a cost to losing so many young, educated and skilled Nigerians. 

When doctors, engineers, teachers, entrepreneurs, talented people, hardworking people leave the country, it loses more than youngsters.

It loses skills, ideas, experience, potential, talent, love.

And that is where the issue becomes uncomfortable.

Because if everyone who has the opportunity to leave takes it, who remains to build?

But perhaps the responsibility should not be placed entirely on the citizens.

Imagine a Nigeria where a young person can look at their future and think, “I can actually build something here.”

Where leaving is an option rather than an escape route.

Where staying is not interpreted as a willingness to suffer.

Where young Nigerians don't have to choose between loving their country and wanting a better life.

I don't think patriotism should demand suffering.

I don't think loving your country means you must accept everything it gives you, even bullshi...

And I don't think a person who leaves should be shamed for choosing a different environment in which to pursue their dreams, pleaseeeeee...

Maybe the question isn't simply:

Should Nigerians stay or japa?

Maybe the bigger question is:

“What would Nigerian become if they stay?

Will the system make them feel like they choose to suffer instead of going for greener pastures?"

Because perhaps Nigerians don't need more lectures about patriotism.

Perhaps we need a country that makes patriotism easier.

A country where the young person who stays does not feel foolish for staying.

And the young person who leaves does not have to feel guilty for leaving.

Nigeria owes its people more than survival.

And Nigerians, wherever they may be, can still owe something to Nigeria.

It doesn't have to be their suffering, their entire future, or their physical presence, but whatever contribution they are genuinely able and willing to make.

Maybe that is what patriotism should look like.

Not “Stay because you owe Nigeria.”

Not “Leave because Nigeria has failed you.”

But rather:

Build where you can.

 Contribute where you can. 

And never let loving your country become a reason to stop wanting a better life.

Go get the better life.

Nobody will choose to embrace a failing system.

Don't let the love for your country stop you.

Don't let anybody guilt trip you into believing that leaving is being a bad citizen.

You can be all you want and do all you want for your country wherever you are.