Policing women and girls did not start today but it should end today. A woman should not have to shrink to make a man comfortable. She shouldn’t have to cover to make a man behave. We did not invent femininity but you invented the shame around it.

Why can’t a 10-year-old wear lipgloss?

Why can’t a 14-year-old paint her nails?

What is “grown” about color?

About shine?

About playing dress up?

The only grown thing here is projecting adult things onto a child.

You’re not angry about the crop top. You’re angry that she chose it. You’re not angry at the exposed thigh. You’re angry that she didn’t ask for your permission.

They told us “cover up or you’re asking for it.” So we covered. They still came.

The shirtless man is free but the hijabi’s safety is not even confirmed. This was never about fabric.

A 15-year-old wearing mascara is still 15 and still looks 15. The only reason “you can’t tell” is because they are looking at her the way adults shouldn’t look at children.

So who is “they”?

Name them.

Because it’s not her mom.

It’s not her friends.

It’s predator that you refused to set boundaries with.

Her home is meant to be safe but she stays counting her steps.

“Is it Uncle so and so?”

Her parents don’t remove the danger. They remove her comfort.

So she trades her tank top for a hoodie in 90 degree weather.

A grown man should never be calling a child “his wife.” He should not be commenting on how “she has matured so well.” He shouldn’t be making jokes about marrying her when she’s legal.

Chase him out. Not her into a sweater.

And let’s be clear. “You’re a woman now” at thirteen is not a celebration or a congratulatory statement. It’s a transfer of responsibility from the adult to the child.

“Now you should know better.”

“Now you should dress better.”

“Now you should protect yourself.”

At 13?

You turn a medical event into a sentencing. She didn’t become a woman. You stopped seeing her as a child.

Let women be women.

Let little girls be little girls.

A skirt is not an invitation.

Curves are not consent.

Lipgloss is not aging her.

A bra strap is not seduction.

Her cat-walking is not seduction.

“Thank you.” With a smile is not flirting.

She is not asking for anything or distracting anyone. She is simply existing. If someone decides to see it as sexual, it is not her problem to fix.

Why should she cater to the potential arousal of a pedophile? She shouldn’t. We should cater to her safety.

When you say make up looks grown

When you say her shorts makes her look fast

When you you reinforce this harmful rhetoric, you’re not not protecting her. You are giving the predator an alibi before he needs one.

“She looked older to me.”

Congratulations.

The rhetoric worked. Just not in the favor of the girls.

You cut her wings and called it protection. You spent 18 years teaching her to disappear, then at 21, you said “Now be soft. Be feminine. Be pretty. Now get a husband.”

How?

With what parts of herself?

The parts you told her was asking for it?

When are we going to stop this harmful stereotypes and behaviors?

When are we going to let girls be who they are?

She is not a problem to be managed. Stop calling her joy a distraction and her freedom, provocation.

Let her express herself without paying the price of someone else’s indiscipline