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133
UNSETTLED
<br/><p><br/></p><p>Struggling to come out of my thoughts.</p><p><br/></p><p>Feeling the headache.</p><p>Feeling the dizziness.</p><p>And the confusion isn't backing down.</p><p><br/></p><p>It's clouding everything.</p><p><br/></p><p>What's wrong with me?</p><p><br/></p><p>Why can't I just make a decision?</p><p><br/></p><p>I keep going back and forth.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>No.</p><p>Maybe.</p><p>Forget it.</p><p>Try again.</p><p><br/></p><p>And somehow, I end up exactly where I started.</p><p><br/></p><p>Confused.</p><p><br/></p><p>Thinking about nothing,</p><p>but somehow thinking about everything.</p><p><br/></p><p>It's strange.</p><p><br/></p><p>My mind is quiet,</p><p>but somehow it's so loud.</p><p><br/></p><p>So loud that I can't even hear myself anymore.</p><p><br/></p><p>I have thoughts,</p><p>but I don't know what they mean.</p><p><br/></p><p>I have ideas,</p><p>but I don't know where to begin.</p><p><br/></p><p>I want to write.</p><p><br/></p><p>I badly want to write. ✍️</p><p><br/></p><p>But then another thought comes in:</p><p><br/></p><p>Should I write?</p><p>Should I not?</p><p><br/></p><p>What if it's not good enough?</p><p><br/></p><p>What if nobody understands it?</p><p><br/></p><p>What if I'm just wasting my time?</p><p><br/></p><p>Then I tell myself,</p><p><br/></p><p>"Just write."</p><p><br/></p><p>But my mind says,</p><p><br/></p><p>"Not yet."</p><p><br/></p><p>And there I am again.</p><p><br/></p><p>Stuck.</p><p><br/></p><p>My mind battling with my brain,</p><p>while I'm caught somewhere in between.</p><p><br/></p><p>And the result?</p><p><br/></p><p>Another headache.</p><p><br/></p><p>Another moment of staring at nothing.</p><p><br/></p><p>Another moment of wondering what I'm even doing.</p><p><br/></p><p>I'm lost in my thoughts.</p><p><br/></p><p>And honestly,</p><p>I don't even know how I got here.</p><p><br/></p><p>When am I going to wake up? 😭</p><p><br/></p><p>I badly wanna write. ✍️</p><p><br/></p><p>I badly wanna turn these thoughts into something.</p><p><br/></p><p>Something people can read.</p><p>Something people can feel.</p><p>Something that sounds like me.</p><p><br/></p><p>But every time I try,</p><p>my thoughts pull me back.</p><p><br/></p><p>They tell me to wait.</p><p><br/></p><p>They tell me to think.</p><p><br/></p><p>They tell me to rethink.</p><p><br/></p><p>And before I know it,</p><p>I've spent another hour thinking about writing</p><p>instead of actually writing.</p><p><br/></p><p>Am I going to remain this way? 😭</p><p><br/></p><p>Am I always going to overthink every little thing?</p><p><br/></p><p>Am I always going to question my own ideas</p><p>before I even give them a chance?</p><p><br/></p><p>My thoughts aren't letting me go.</p><p><br/></p><p>And time isn't waiting either.</p><p><br/></p><p>The clock keeps moving.</p><p><br/></p><p>Minute after minute.</p><p><br/></p><p>Second after second.</p><p><br/></p><p>While I'm still here,</p><p>inside my head,</p><p>trying to figure myself out.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe I don't need to have everything figured out.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe I just need to start.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe the first sentence doesn't have to be perfect.</p><p><br/></p><p>Maybe I just need to write the thought</p><p>before the thought disappears.</p><p><br/></p><p>So here I am.</p><p><br/></p><p>Writing.</p><p><br/></p><p>Still confused.</p><p><br/></p><p>Still thinking.</p><p><br/></p><p>Still trying to find my way out of my own head.</p><p><br/></p><p>But at least…</p><p><br/></p><p>I'm writing.</p>
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