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In Nigeria 2 min read
THE STRUGGLE
<p style="text-align: justify; ">Sometimes I wonder if we have forgotten what it feels like to live without calculating.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Before leaving the house, you calculate transport.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">At the market, you calculate what to remove.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">At work, you calculate how much of your salary can survive the month.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Even happiness sometimes comes with calculation.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Can I afford this?</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">There was a time when wanting something was enough reason to hope for it.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Now, wanting something is only the beginning of another question:</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">How much will it cost me?</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">I have watched people become tired without ever having the luxury of admitting they are tired.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">A father who returns home late and still asks what is left for dinner.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">A mother who quietly stretches one meal into two.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">A graduate who keeps sending applications until the rejection emails begin to feel personal.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">A young person who watches someone their age leave the country and wonders whether they are happy for them or simply wishing they had the same chance.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">And somehow, we keep going.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">That may be one of the most beautiful and painful things about us.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">We complain about the country in the morning and still wake up the next morning to try again.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">We joke about the things that hurt us because sometimes laughter is cheaper than therapy.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">We call ourselves strong.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">But I sometimes wonder if strength is always a blessing.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Because when a people become too good at surviving, the world can begin to forget that they deserve to live.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Perhaps that is where the real struggle lies.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Not only in the empty pockets, the broken systems, the rising prices, or the opportunities that seem to belong to someone else.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">But in what all of it slowly does to the person carrying it.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">You begin to lower your expectations.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">You stop asking for comfort and start asking only for enough.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Enough money.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Enough food.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Enough electricity.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Enough peace to sleep.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Enough hope to wake up and try again.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">And maybe one day, without noticing, you realise that your biggest dream is no longer to have a good life.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">It is simply to have a life that doesn't feel like something you have to fight for every single day.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Still, tomorrow will come.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Someone will open their shop.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Someone will board a bus.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Someone will submit another application.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Someone will send money home.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Someone will whisper, “It will be better.”</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">And we will believe them.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Maybe because we have to.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">Because sometimes, in a place where survival has become a daily conversation, hope is the only thing we can still afford to carry.</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; ">And I wonder;</p><p style="text-align: justify; "><br/></p><p style="text-align: justify; "><strong>how long can a person keep calling it hope before they realise they have simply become accustomed to waiting?</strong></p>

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