I was Once happy.

When I decided to write this piece, I said I'd write it in a way that no one will be confused

In a way that people won't be trying to denote the meaning of my words in the comments

Because if people can't understand you, have you really passed any message?

The first sentence may surprise you but it's the fact

And sadly it's in past tense.

Happiness now seems like a fairytale to me, something so far fetched and so out of my reach.

The thing is, when I was happy, I was also a Pessimist.

And that was the beginning of the end of my happiness.

I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop

I always thought to myself; "Truly I can't be this happy all the time. I'm so scared. Surely, there must be a catch".

I forgot that the type of happiness that comes with a price is the type of happiness you get from the Devil.

You know what they say; the Devil doesn't Bargain.

I forgot that I was Jesus' baby.

And that my happiness was from God and I shouldn't be expecting it to end.

But before I realized the extent of my pessimism, my thoughts became a reality and the other shoe dropped.

When the other shoe dropped, it dropped so hard and landed right in the center of my head.

It was an 8-inch Louboutin.

Yes, ouch.

And it left a huge scar.

But, I'm ready to be happy now.

I'm no longer a pessimist.

I'm ready to align my thoughts with happiness but...

Silence. Nothing.

Why is it that at the time I'm ready to experience happiness, it evades me like a plague?

I can't even tell you what happiness means but taking inspiration from a piece my friend wrote, I think it's a state of being. 

Why am I struggling to align my reality with that state of being?

Tips?

Oh wait, before I ask for tips, is anyone truly happy?