Score |
72
Ara Bambi
Builder in Training @ Federal University of Technology, Akure
Builder in Training @ Federal University of Technology, Akure
YOU KNOW ME, DON'T YOU?
<p><br/></p><p>Dear diary, I don't feel understood by the person who has known me the longest.</p><p><br/></p><p>I feel like she's lived with me all my life so even if she doesn't fully know, she should have an inkling of what might be wrong.</p><p><br/></p><p>And I don't understand why she keeps trying to shape me into a life I don't want instead of trying to understand the person I've actually become.</p><p><br/></p><p>Apparently she wants you to have a social life and yet she discourages the behaviours through which you're actually supposed to develop develop one.</p><p><br/></p><p>You can't tell someone:</p><p><br/></p><p>“Don't go out". </p><p><br/></p><p>"Don't talk to people". </p><p><br/></p><p>"Friends are evil".</p><p><br/></p><p>"Stay home.”</p><p><br/></p><p>And then later wonder.</p><p><br/></p><p>“Why don't you have friends"?</p><p><br/></p><p>And yeah as much as she might be trying to protect me I need to protect myself.</p><p><br/></p><p>One painful thing she does is talking down on me or my choices in front of other people.</p><p><br/></p><p>When they're there you yell but when they're gone and the tears arrive you speak softly and make it seem like it's not my fault.</p><p><br/></p><p>If you believe I'm right, why don't you stand beside me when it actually matters?</p><p><br/></p><p>Why when you see tears do you realize?</p><p><br/></p><p>Reminds me of an eba incident and it made me think.</p><p><br/></p><p>There are a lot of things that can go wrong day in day out.</p><p><br/></p><p>I could be walking on the street and get shot.</p><p><br/></p><p>I could get kidnapped.</p><p><br/></p><p>I could simply go out, get killed and never return home.</p><p><br/></p><p>And all they were both worried about was the fact that I couldn't make eba.</p><p><br/></p><p>So she should have guessed it was a coping mechanism and even if she didn't I feel she should have at least wondered and asked…</p><p><br/></p><p>I don't magically expect her to know or instantly understand my trauma or how much she has hurt me.</p><p><br/></p><p>I just feel she should be curious about her child.</p>
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