A THING OR TWO ABOUT HAIR

Have you ever thought about your hair? Because I have. There is a belief I hold quite dearly: hair is something you should know. You should know your hair. How it grows. What is happening biologically. What it needs. What keeps it thriving. I think our hair is like the person we do not know. We have it. We carry it everywhere. We see it every day. Yet many of us were never taught to actually understand it. I started making my hair myself about five years ago. In that short time, I have grown considerably long hair, so I get a lot of questions. “How did you grow your hair?” I like talking about my hair, so I tell them. I explain how I wash, moisturise, prepare and style it. I talk about the things I have learnt and the mistakes I have made. Then I look at their faces. They are gone. They wanted my results. They did not want my process. I have not become a hair content creator, despite once having serious plans to become one. I do not know where that dream has gone. But I have watched something else happen. My friends' relationship with their hair changed. They started asking questions. Paying attention. Trying things. Learning their own hair. And what is more beautiful than seeing impact in real time? Maybe my hair. Allow me, please. 🥺 But I would not lie. There have been times when I have felt inadequate because of my hair. I was seventeen when a guy told me he would love to date me because I was “low-maintenance.” His reason? I am dark-skinned and mostly wear my natural hair.Seventeen.I still wonder where he got his guts from.A worth was attached to me because I carried the hair that came out of my scalp in cornrows and the verdict was that I am of little worth. Then there are Nigerian hairdressers. The ones who see your natural hair and immediately suggest relaxer. “Oh, you should add relaxer.” No, thank you. I want my afro. Or they comb through it like I owe them a relaxed head of hair. One hairdresser even complained that she preferred working with relaxed hair because mine would not look beautiful. It is interesting how often we treat natural hair as something that needs to be corrected before it can be beautiful. And perhaps that is how many of us learnt to relate to our hair.Not to know it. To manage it. To make it presentable. To add to it. Cover it. Stretch it. Style it. Prop it up. There is nothing wrong with any of those things. I love a good hairstyle too. But I think there is a difference between styling your hair and knowing your hair. I have spent the last five years learning mine. I have made mistakes. I have experimented. I have figured out what it likes and what it does not. I think that is why I love it so much.Not just because it is long.Because I know it.That is all I am saying.Know your hair.

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