Day 8: September 16

‎Can we take a moment to acknowledge that I have actually survived a week of this series? 😂‎Seven whole days of actually doing things instead of just thinking about doing them. I feel like that's worth acknowledging before we move on 😭‎For some people, the things I've been doing so far are probably incredibly boring.‎But...‎you're not wrong.‎It's not that I don't want to do bigger or more exciting things. I absolutely do. I'd love to travel, try pottery, learn how to play the piano, go to random places just because I've never been there before... all of that sounds great. Amazing, even.‎But those are also things I can't just wake up and decide to do at any given moment, especially not at the stage of life I'm in right now.‎Besides, I'm also just trying to build some consistency, which is a habit I very clearly do not have 😂‎I want to know what it's like to actually keep doing something. To practice it enough to get better at it instead of doing it for a little while, getting distracted or discouraged, and eventually abandoning it.‎I also want to get the little things out of the way.‎Because if I can't even handle the little things, how on earth am I going to handle the big ones?‎I've tried learning languages before. I've started, gotten excited about them, and then stopped before I ever got this far.‎The same goes for the many different storylines that have built a home in my mind but have never really seen the light of day.‎I'm trying really hard not to do that again.‎Because if I keep stopping, I'm really scared that one day it's just going to become what I am.‎A quitter.‎Someone who only ever barely makes it halfway through.‎A dreamer.‎Someone who has a thousand ideas but never quite manages to turn them into anything.‎A people-pleaser.‎Someone who's reliable for everyone except herself.‎And I don't want that to be the story I eventually tell about myself.‎‎•••‎‎Moving on 😅‎Today is Day 8 and I am reading a novel.‎ I have an obsession with life-spanning novels (stories that take you through a character's life from beginning to end).‎I've read an obscene number of them. Never Love a Stranger, When All Is Said, Jay, City of Girls, Carrie Soto is Back, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo...‎There's just something about being allowed to watch a person become themselves over the course of a life. I like watching people become who they are, understanding their psychology, seeing the things that shape them, the people they love, the mistakes they make, the things they lose, and all the big and little ways life changes them.‎I think there's something especially intimate about spending that much time with a character. You're not just meeting them at one particular point in their life; you get to see where they came from and where they end up.‎There are only two authors who are capable of getting me honestly, maddeningly excited to read their books without even opening them: Taylor Jenkins Reid and John Marrs.‎I could waste your time and give you a million reasons why I love their work, but I couldn't even properly tell you if I tried.‎But of course, I'll still try 😂‎I fell in love with Taylor Jenkins Reid many years ago after reading Daisy Jones & The Six, and all I can say is that TJR is the sole reason why I'm such a romantic.‎Or at least, she was the flame.‎I have read love stories before. So, so many of them. (We all went through a Wattpad era, right? 😂) And although I enjoyed reading almost all of them, I don't think I ever really learned anything worthwhile about life, or people, or relationships until I read Daisy Jones.‎I don't think I have ever felt so desperately connected to a character before.‎There's just something about the way Taylor Jenkins Reid writes people that has completely changed the way I read, write even. She is amazing at character development. Her characters don't ever feel like characters who were created to move a story along. They feel like people who happened to exist, and somehow I've been given the privilege of watching their lives unfold.‎Granted, I don't think all of her earlier books are quite as good as the ones she wrote later on. There are a few that just didn't do it for me in the same way. But somewhere along the line, she figured out exactly how to get under my skin, and now I'm here.‎Then there's John Marrs. ‎It goes without saying, but I am equally obsessed with a good psychological thriller, and I don't think anyone does it for me like John Marrs. ‎He is a master of mind-fuckery (forgive my French 😅).‎I genuinely don't understand how he comes up with some of the things he writes. His plots are absolutely insane, and somehow he always manages to take things further than I thought they could possibly go. Just when you think you've figured out what's happening, you realise you were wrong, and then you keep reading and somehow things get even crazier. And the thing is, it's not even just about the twists. His books are the kind that make me put the book down for a second and just stare at the wall because WHAT???? 😭 I love that. I love being completely blindsided by a book. I love when an author can make me question everything I thought I knew about the story, and John Marrs does that to me every single time 😩‎Anyway...‎God, how did we get here again?‎Oh yes. ‎Day 8.‎I read a book today 😂‎I realise I've gone on a rather ridiculous journey just to tell you what book I picked up today 😂‎I have been in a reading rot for a while now and decided to pick between my two favorite authors to help pull me out. ‎<img src="/media/inline_insight_image/1000427293.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;"/>‎I was honestly more in the mood for some psychological damage, but I decided to calm my demons and went with TJR instead.‎So, Atmosphere it is.‎And I'm actually very excited about it.‎It came out last year and I'm a little disappointed in myself for taking so long to read it. ‎Then again, better late than never 🖤

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