I’d rather not. - by Israel Oyedeji

Dearest gentle reader,It is hardly news that we have heard stories of people's experiences, shared to break the silence, and encourage the conversation: “This happened to me, and we need to talk about it.” A statement that, in its own way, has given many the courage to speak.And this author would like to take her stance in three words: “I’d rather not.” Yes, I want to speak up. Yes, it is better to do so, but it still remains a rather sensitive issue.I find it rather troubling that you turn your own experiences into gossip for the people of the web. Though we all have our choices about what we would or would not like to do, isn't it perhaps going too far to disclose personal information for all eyes to see?Something they call, keeping in-house matters within the house.This author would like to hear your whispers from the shadows, for can we really gossip when you are exposed?Like I said earlier, I’d rather not have my wounds turned into jokes. Discretion is the rarest virtue.Real voices need not be loud to be considered authentic, and pretty fonts certainly do not make your experience any less significant.So this author would ask: where do you draw the line when your experience is all over the internet, reduced to just another random tweet?People will certainly talk, whisper, and react, but where is the genuine love in question, the compassion for my broken bone, scarred skin or troubled mind?Calling it courage to speak up is not the problem. Surely, some may feel less alone by sharing their experiences, but does that account for the stigma and pain they might encounter?Discretion truly is the rarest virtue. Not that you should not share, but have we considered the question: what comes next when I talk about how I was bullied, beaten and maltreated? Dear reader, perhaps we ought to ask ourselves a different question. Not simply whether people should speak up, but whether we have learnt how to listen without turning their experiences into spectacles. To listen not just to the story but also the storyteller. It is up to our discerning minds to bring real change to real experiences, to give volume to real voices and make room for not just the story but also the person behind the story. And so, dear reader, the question remains: does society really need to know? Yours truly, Lady Whistledown.

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