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164
Caramel
Student @ Babcock University
Student @ Babcock University
One of the notes I won't send
<p>I wonder how things turned this sour.</p><p>Your name doesn't spark the same fire in my heart anymore. You don't make my blood rush. You don't have me as strongly as you did anymore. Can't you see it? Can you feel yourself being less good to me? I hate how much I still want you.</p><p>I still want you in my favourite tea shop in the estate I first lived in. On the rooftop among the stars, kissing me. I still want you, but now anytime I imagine you, you're no longer looking at me with fondness. Your eyes are tired, a little hateful. Your arms are crossed and you keep looking at the time.</p><p>I still want to be near you. In the kitchen while you work in your office, that Bryson song playing in the house. I want to smell like you, the taste of your mouth on my tongue, sitting on your lap, trying to bribe you to watch Barbie with me.</p><p>I want all these things still. But in my mind's eye, you're always pulling away. There's always something more important to do. My constant demand for you building your resentment for me.</p><p>Can you not get tired yet? Can you not hate me yet? I was just getting comfortable. I was just letting you in. I was just learning how to give myself to you. Can you please not take it away so soon? Can you stop making me cry?</p><p>Please?</p><p>Please, baby.</p><p>It can't be this hard to stay good to me. To wonder how I'm doing after going so long without talking to me. To see if I got that call back. To see if I've started the new job I told you about. Why do you want me to think you don't care?</p><p>You can't possibly be that busy. Don't you think of me? Don't you ever suddenly remember me and wonder what I'm doing? Do you ever miss me? If you do, why don't you ever tell me?</p><p>Am I someone you once thought you wanted, and now realize you were wrong?</p><p>Would you read this and wonder, what the fuck is wrong with this one?</p><p>Or would you laugh?</p><p>I hate you so much. </p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><strong>This piece was inspired by one of those Yoruba men. </strong></p>
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