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105
Esosa
Student @ University of Benin
Student @ University of Benin
That friend dat disappeared when I needed them the most
<p> I will never forget last year.
I was going through a very rough patch. School was stressing me, money was tight, and mentally I was just down. I didn't need anyone to solve my problems, I just needed someone to talk to.
I had this friend I considered my closest. We talked every day. We did everything together. I was so sure that if anything happened, this person would be there.
So I opened up. I told them I was not okay.
They read my message. No reply.
I thought maybe they were busy. I waited till next day, I texted again. Still nothing. They were online, posting on status, laughing with other people, but my messages were just there.
That week taught me a big lesson. Sometimes the people you call your closest are only close when everything is good. When life gets hard, they disappear.
I cried, not because I was going through a lot, but because the person I was counting on was not there. I had to learn to sit with my own pain alone.
Later they came back like nothing happened and said "sorry I was busy." But I already knew. You were not busy, you just didn't want to deal with my heavy season.
Since then I changed how I do friendship. I still love people, I still show up for them, but I don't attach my healing to anyone. I learned to be my own support system first.
Have you ever had a friend disappear when you needed them most? How did you handle it?</p>
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Esosa
Benin City, Nigeria
Benin City, Nigeria
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