I spent today thinking of what to post on Two Cents, but I arrived at nothing tangible.

So, instead of going more days without posting anything, I decided to just air out my thoughts.

This is going to be long, boring, annoying, or whatever you may call it.

So, first of all, I don't know where this is going. Just bear that in mind.

I don't know whether to call this a basket of shenanigans or give it some fancy name from within. Whatever I decide to call it, bear with me.

So, first of all, how are you coping with this heat???

Because right now, I am lying on my bed, fanning myself with a fan that is begging me to leave it alone for the fiftieth time today. And I'm gazing at my surroundings, which are beautifully lit with darkness.

I am in awe at the amount of liquid my body can produce in a day without me collapsing.

Because tell me why there is no light?

And tell me why I am shivering even when I am sweating profusely?

That aside.

I'm still going to come back to that, though. Don't forget.

But I just wanted you to know that this is getting seriouser than I thought.

Number two.

I know, I get it. I'm Yoruba. So I put rodo in almost everything.

No shade.

But then, I don't like rodo that much, honestly. I don't.

So why is life giving me rodo in every part? In every dimension, in every shape, in every form, in every size?

Ah!

That's racism.

That's tribalism.

That's inconsistency.

That is dealer's robbery.

That is harassment.

That is assault.

That is very wrong.

I don't know.

This is very wrong.

That aside.

Number three.

Okay, where am I supposed to see two power banks?

Don't get me wrong. The average Nigerian owns at least one power bank or something that looks like a power bank.

Why did I say something that looks like a power bank?

It can look like a power bank, but it may not act like a power bank.

It may be the one your phone is powering.

And it may be the one encouraging your phone to charge one percent.

I don't know if you get what I mean.

Even me, I don't understand what I mean.

But everything is just so complicated.

I don't even have money to buy foodstuff. Is it now a sixty-thousand-mAh power bank I will now buy?

When did this life turn to this?

Number four.

Ladies, you did not tell me that doing French curls in this heat is a financial mistake.

It is a crime against humanity.

Because tell me why I made waist-length boho French curls less than two weeks ago and it is off my scalp right now.

I mean, I need sanity.

Actual sanity over beauty.

I'm so sorry.

But I should have been warned beforehand.

I know, I know, I know.

Don't get me wrong. I know that the heat should have warned me. It should have given me enough warning.

But I just wanted to feel myself here.

So I even went to fix nails. I did my beauty maintenance and all that.

Wait. Ask me where the nails are.

They are off my fingers, and I've been chewing at my nails for the past five minutes.

Don't ask me why.

I don't know why.

And now it's as if I'm bored.

There's absolutely nothing on my head except the hair that God gave me.

Now, that aside.

Next one, I stopped counting.

Data!!!

Need I say more? Four letters, one catastrophic word. Gosh!

O lagbara o!

You see, I don't even know what to say again at this point.

Why are people not sleeping?

Why is everybody outside?

Why?

Okay, you may ask me, "Why are you not sleeping?"

The same reason you are not sleeping.

So why are both our korokoro eyes open by this time of the night?

Number next.

That aside, everything is annoying.

Everything is irritating.

I mean, today, I just randomly had a burst of mood swing.

I was so upset.

I was so irritated.

And I just picked up the scissors and cut off my hair.

Like, no.

This has to stop.

I cannot be tortured any longer.

I was being tortured.

I mean, I didn't commit any crime.

Besides doing French curls in El Niño season.

But then, I feel like that is enough crime on its own.

I've learnt my mistake.

I shouldn't have to suffer more.

I shouldn't go to...

Well, this is getting seriouser than I thought once again.

Now, I'm done ranting.

But oh, thank God.

Somebody just turned off their Gen.

Hallelujah!

We'll breathe this night.

I don't know what is going on, honestly.

And I'm sick and tired of all of the things that are happening.

And this is just me thinking out loud.

Thank you for reading, even though you didn't wish to.

I dragged you into this basket of shenanigans with me.

I'm so sorry.

And I'm not really sorry.

Love youuuu and goodnight.

Wait first, the Gen is back on!

Don't leave me. 😭