Tomorrow never came - by Obikaeze Precious

Tomorrow.How often I use this word.How lovely and peaceful I feel using this word.I guess Tomorrow is really tired of me using it's name as a shield. I use this word a little too much.Tomorrow became a ritual to me,and slowly but surely I lost all my today's to tomorrow. Tomorrow😩 It was a safe space where I could leave all the dreams, plans, ambitions and emotions I couldn't handle. it's comical really.with just the words "I'll deal with it tomorrow" I spent my todays doing absolutely nothing. I always wished tomorrow would never come and if it did come I prayed for it to take it's time. But guess what 🥺It never did.tomorrow was always in a rush to become my today. it started with little things.A book I was supposed to read.An assignment I needed to finish.A room I needed to clean.A goal I promised myself I'll work towards. "I'm tired, I'll begin Tomorrow ” is a term I'm all to familiar with. Tomorrow sounded like the perfect place to put all the things I didn't want to deal with today. Everyone pushes back something to tomorrow didn't they?But lately I've been running out of tomorrow's. The world moved fast and in a few hours, tomorrow becomes today.the world was moving, everyone is growing but I'm still here waiting for tomorrow.tomorrow never promised to save and hold onto me.it's never perfect.it was just another morning, another today being wasted and second guessed. I always wondered why I'd really want something so badly and still get in my own way, because I've gotten so comfortable postponing my life that starting feels almost impossible. I'm running out of time. I wonder how many tomorrows I've got left before my wants becomes what I used to want. tomorrow is tired,and I'm tired of relying on tomorrow.I don't think I've achieved anything major yet in my fresh 19 years of existence but I want to do something I'll be proud of by the time 20 catches up to me.😩 leaning on tomorrow wouldn't help me a bit. I don't need a perfect morning or a perfect version of myself to take a step forward. I just wish for the courage to make the first call and take the first step. I want to do something my future self would be proud of.🤭 tomorrow hasn't become the perfect morning I envisioned and felt motivated towards. sometimes saying" I'll do it tomorrow "becomes dangerous than saying I can't. I really don't know how many tomorrows I have left, but I need to begin today🤞

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