No one tells you how a rape victim is supposed to behave so for the first few seconds you're confused on how to act.

Should you feign indifference and say you're stronger than your circumstances but then people would begin to doubt you

Did you encourage them to do this to you? Is that why you aren't tearing your clothes apart and downing sackclothes

If you decide to wail and scream the unfairness of it all... sighs and pity stares would follow, but then whispers  of this antics seem excessive, my gut tells me it's all a mirage 

You'll curse yourself because really there isn't any manual on how a rape victim should behave

Rather how a boy rape victim should behave?

You startle slightly...you hear the judge saying

"case number FCT/HC/CR/123/2024 "

Your public defender pats your back and drags you to stand up

"It's time" she says

You look at her... truly look at her and it sinks in

You're doomed

No lawyer would touch your case with a ten-foot pole... that's why the state had to give you a public defender.

You walk to the witness box — or whatever the proper term is. You can’t even think straight enough to remember.

The judge adjusts her spectacles to take you in properly

You know what she's seeing

What they're all seeing.

A fine dark handsome young man

It's unbelievable that such would happen.

Your advocate will stand up and begin to state the facts of the case

You've heard it all before when she rehearsed in front of you.

"My Lord my client was this

My Lord my client was that"

But that's not what will make dread coil round you, its the words from the gallery

" if this hadn't happened in Abuja this case would've never made it to court " 

You pause and stare directly at me

"You see" you begin to explain

"the law doesn't recognize the fact that a man can be raped, the only state that does is Abuja and that's due to the adoption of the vappa law"

I nod my head because I know... I myself am a fellow learned colleague and I know how the law pretends to be equal, until it isn't.

I gesture for you to continue and you do

The prosecution will stand and begin.

They enumerate the outstanding qualities of your rapist

They talk about how she gives to the poor... how she is fragile at heart

A mother figure to her community blessed with two little girls

Fragile indeed! you think

They mention her 5'6 frame in comparison to your 6'2 and how incredulous it is for what you claim to be believed

you see the judge nod slightly in agreement

You see the court spectators nod

Crazily you see your advocate nod

And it sinks in

You're never going to win this case

It was a sham. A performance to fulfill all righteousness.

No one ever believed you

It was them spitting in your face and saying

"yes we clamour for equal rights but in this scenario... you will always be the superior being"

I run out of the visiting room

Because I don't want to hear how that story ends

I don't want to complete it because it's too familiar

And I think you know why

Because the woman you called rapist... I called her MOTHER.