Growing up, I never really understood how much where you come from could influence how people perceive you until I started spending more time in Zaria.

I grew up in Abuja, but Kaduna has always been part of my story. I moved to Abuja in 2010, and Zaria became another chapter of my life through school. If there's one thing living between these places has taught me, it's that Northern Nigeria is not one big homogeneous community where everybody thinks, speaks, behaves or even sees the world the same way.

And boy, was I in for some culture shocks.

First, let's talk about Zaria. A place with so much history, culture, tradition and its own peculiar social expectations. Coming from Abuja, I had to learn that certain things I considered completely normal elsewhere could attract unnecessary attention here. The way people dress, speak, interact with the opposite sex, their expectations of women, and even the things you casually say in a conversation can be interpreted differently.

I also learned that being an Arewa babe comes with its own interesting set of expectations. Apparently, there is a manual somewhere that I wasn't given. You're expected to know how to behave, what to wear, what to say, how to relate with people and sometimes how to fit into a version of Northern womanhood that doesn't necessarily represent you.

And then there's the Southern Kaduna conversation.

One thing that genuinely surprised me was how much prejudice people from Southern Kaduna can encounter, particularly in spaces where religious, cultural and ethnic differences are very pronounced.

Sometimes it's subtle. Sometimes it's not.

It can be the assumptions people make about your background, the questions they ask when they discover where you're from, the jokes that aren't really jokes, or the way someone suddenly changes their attitude towards you.

And I often wonder: why does someone's place of origin have to become a reason to treat them differently?

It's particularly interesting because people sometimes speak about Northern Nigeria as though it is one united cultural experience. But Northern Nigeria is incredibly diverse. We have different languages, histories, traditions, religions and ways of life. Even within Kaduna State, the experiences of someone from Zaria can be vastly different from someone from Southern Kaduna.

I have also learned that you can love a place and still question some of the things you experience there. You can appreciate someone's culture without agreeing with every social expectation attached to it.

And perhaps that's one of the biggest lessons I've taken from living and studying in these different environments: cultural differences should be an opportunity to learn about one another, not an excuse to rank people or discriminate against them.

I am still learning. Still unlearning. Still discovering parts of myself through the places I've lived and the people I've encountered.

I'm an Arewa babe, an Abuja girl at heart, a student in Zaria, a writer, a girl who enjoys baking, creating things, having unnecessarily long conversations and asking questions people sometimes wish I wouldn't ask.

I don't want to have to choose which part of my background makes me more acceptable to somebody else.

I can appreciate tradition and still be curious about the world. I can respect culture and still challenge certain practices. I can be proudly Northern without pretending that every Northern experience is the same.

And if there's anything my little diary has taught me, it's this:

**You can belong to a place without agreeing with everything it represents, and you should never have to apologise for where you come from.**

Signed,

An Arewa babe still figuring it all out. 🧚🏾‍♀️